Dear Freshman Me,
Right about now, it's starting to feel real, isn't it? You've been here at college for over a month, and you're realizing that it's not just a temporary vacation from home. This is home now. And, if you're being honest, that terrifies you. "Home" means comfort, family, and friends who know you inside and out. This is not home. This is a place full of friends who don't truly know you, classes that are harder than ever before, and, on top of that, pressure to make it all look effortless.
But it's going to be okay, and I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. I promise the hard things will work themselves out and will make you better for enduring them. I know that doesn't necessarily make you feel better now, but take heart, because the times you aren't chosen end up working out for the best.
Not getting into an organization or getting an invitation does not mean you aren't good enough. So I'm begging you, please don't let your mind run wild trying to guess where you fell short in their eyes. You will never know the answer, and you're honestly wasting your time. You can't change what has happened, but you can absolutely make the most of your circumstances now.
The in between phase has purpose.
That stage of being "in between" your group of close friends back home and the people who will become your closest friends here taught you valuable lessons. You couldn't depend on other people, and you certainly couldn't make it on your own, so you were forced to rely on something bigger than yourself. Do not lose heart.
Dorm life is worth it.
Community bathrooms make you 1,000 times more grateful for your shower now. Oh, and you meet your best friends in the dorm. Take advantage of the time you spend living with 600 other girls, you'll miss seeing the people you run into in the hallway.
Snapchat lies.
There's no way they're having the time of their life in the first month of college. I promise it's hard for everyone. No matter how many captions tell you that everyone is so thankful to have found their "people" and no matter how many laughing candids are posted, remember that they have known each other for a month, and anyone can smile for the split second it takes to snap a picture.
You eventually become friends with that girl you saw around but were too scared to talk to.
But why the heck are you waiting so long to get to know her? She's probably scared of you, too, and she has a story and a background that is probably more similar to yours than you think. So just introduce yourself and don't prolong the amount of time you go without knowing her.
There's no such thing as being "too involved" at the beginning of your freshman year.
Don't wait till you've "learned the ropes" to jump into an organization that is making a difference. You'll look back on your freshman year and deeply regret being so consumed with your own life that you overlooked opportunities to get involved or volunteer all around you. Start stepping out of your own little world now.
What everyone else thinks doesn't matter.
You don't have to go out on a Friday night. You don't have to be okay when you don't get invited to something you really wanted to go to. You don't have to be friends with a specific group of people. You don't have to do what everyone else is doing. You are not defined by who other people think you are, so don't let fear of their opinions keep you from enjoying life.
Last, but not least, it takes time.
Don't be discouraged if life isn't perfect or you feel like you don't know what you're doing. Things will get easier, and you will start to feel more comfortable. Keep your head up, kiddo. You're doing a great job.
