It's dreaded. It's horrific. It's even more hated on than Donald Trump's hair. It's finals week. Every single high school and college in America has this distinguished week of non-stop grinding through exams. Usually, students spend the majority of their semester cruising along, living in the ignorant bliss of school life, and claiming that they can bring their grades up easily by the time finals roll around. But, lo and behold, it's the week before finals and here I am, with still sinking grades. This leaves me with even more weight and pressure on my shoulders, as the entirety of my GPA physically depends on these last grades. However, I know I am not alone. For those of you who have taken exams, or are studying for them (or are distracting yourself from the painful actuality by reading this article), this is the reality of finals week.
The pre-stress bliss stage; T-10 days until finals week
Usually, you've started receiving piles upon piles of work from teachers, who seemingly don't seem to care much about the ending of the school year. I mean, shouldn't you be coming to a slow, gradual stop? Why are we crash-landing? So, you advance forth, into projects and papers and busy work. Your mind has successfully been distracted from the foreboding finals and you have lost yet another weekend to just school work.
The silent advancing of death stage; T-7 days until finals week
By this time, it's set in. You know you're dead. Your teachers have probably handed out a review sheet for the final and you probably fainted looking at all the units you're supposed to remember. But, you told yourself you would study and ace all your finals and you're not a quitter so a week before, you set out all your materials and you put away your phone and you get ready to become SpongeBob and soak in all this information but you just can't. Try as you might, there is negative amount of information flowing into your brain and if something does make it into your head, chances are it'll have left by the next morning.
The chaotic cramming stage; T-4 days until finals week
Now, you've realized the true magnitude of the looming events of the next week. You've tried ancient techniques, like praying to the Gods or placing textbooks on your head in the hopes that the information will somehow diffuse into your brain. You've maybe considered cheating, but let's face it, that's too much effort. So, you've started studying like a madman. Staying up late, not paying attention in review days during class and increasing your coffee intake are all symptoms of this stage. The adrenaline begins to pump through your body as you prepare to take on the beast, so much so that you start to forget basic knowledge information, and it worries you. A lot.
The I'm considering quitting school stage; T-1 day until finals week
It's here. The moment you've been waiting anxiously for. You've stopped studying now. You're probably sitting in a pile of papers, textbooks and tears by now. You know that there is no way on this Earth that you will be able to muster up a good grade on your upcoming final but now you've started to think practically. You think "How much does this class actually mean to me?" or "Will this class actually matter down the road?" You've probably experienced some sort of quarter-life crisis at two a.m. in the morning and you've fully decided that it just isn't worth it.
The kick-butt, I can do anything, false confidence stage; T-0 days until finals week
Walking into the exam hall or classroom, you think to yourself: How hard could it really be? You've somehow managed to convince yourself that you are fully prepared for this test and that no curve-ball or flaming hoop your teacher throws at you can prove to be an obstacle for you. You might have a brief anxiety attack, but you tell yourself that it's okay, that you'll power through, that you'll rise to the top.
The post final, I failed everything, I have no future stage; 1 day after finals week
Your brain is fried, your body is weak, your mental state is deteriorating. After looking at the exam, you realized how truly unprepared you were and how much you had lied to yourself. You converse with some friends after and discuss answers but alas, you have selected answer choices completely different from them. You accept defeat. You lay in bed for a while wondering what's next. You wonder what you will tell your parents. You're wondering what your life will become. You're wondering what it will be like to become poor for the first time in your life because you no longer can get yourself the education needed to get yourself a job that was needed to get yourself money that was needed to put a roof over your head and food on your plate. All in all, your life has become a Direct TV commercial.
All jokes aside, as much as we all despise finals week, we must always remember that GPA is permanent but pain is only temporary. Good luck!
