From the beginning of time, people are always telling you you can be whatever you dream yourself to be. They tell you to follow your hearts passions and to live the life you wish to lead. What they don't tell you is that you can only really identify as yourself in a few ways when regarding certain popular opinions. Either you're one, or the other, and a devout one at that. With that being said, the world has come to realize that, in reality, there is only really two types of people.
Dress for Comfort vs. Dress for Style
This tale is as old as time. There's simply just two types of people, the one who finds pleasure in ultimate comfort and nothing more, nothing less, and the other who takes dressing for success to a whole new level. It doesn't matter if it's 6 in the morning or 6 in the evening, you can count that the sweatpants gang will be wearing just that with a messy bun on the top of their head, and the lipstick and hair gel squad will be fluffing their feathers while posing for selfies with their personalized coffee.
OCD Toothpaste Roll vs. The Hulk Squeeze
Everyone's seen that person who's toothpaste is perfectly rolled up to the point of use, making the most out of every squirt. Their precise rolling techniques make you question the level of control and organization you have on your life. But of course this wouldn't have made the list had there been no alternative. If your toothpaste rolling game isn't to that caliber, you clearly must identify with the aggressive, yet extremely popular death clasp. It looks like World War III hit your toothbrush bristles and your toothpaste tube looks like a dried up sack of God knows what. Who would have known you could tell so much about a person by the way their tube of toothpaste looked?
Clear Notification Screen vs. An Absolute Cluster****
This one is quite simple. Either you have every conversation that has ever existed in the history of your life's history, with a picture and 457 emails to go with it on your phone, or you have a clean, fresh slate of message, email and social media icons on your screen.
Ketchup on the Side vs. Ketchup on the Fries
There's just two types of fry lovers, and it all boils down to one condition: location of the ketchup. Are you a blob on the side kind of guy or squirt it all over that pile of salty, greasy goodness?
Setting One Alarm vs. Five Plus Alarms
This one is 100% about knowing your self. Knowing your capabilities and your bodies need of sleep. Either you hear that alarm right away, roll over, and walk to the shower in the morning, or you know it'll take either these five plus alarms you have set or an entire body slam from someone on WWE to wake your lifeless carcass from that night's sleep.
Slowly Pull Apart the Cheese Stick vs. Devour the Cheese Stick
How this is even an option is beyond me. It should be mentally and physically inconceivable for man to think it's okay to bite on a cheese stick like it's jerky. You will slowly pull apart that cheese stick and eat it one strand at a time, and you WILL like it. Anything else is considered a crime in my book.
Always on the Full Battery Life vs. Riding It Out On Empty
There's always that one person who can't leave the house without making sure their phone is nothing short of 100% charge, otherwise you can just forget it. As for the latter, there's plenty of people that are determined to life life on the edge and see how long a whopping 29% will last them for the evening. It's always amazing to see what people come up with in order for their phone battery to last longer.
Can a' Coke vs. Can o' Pepsi
Of all the debates, this is probably the most controversial. Never have two brown colored items been so highly deliberated. There are some die hard fans out there who will sincerely spit on you if you oppose their views, and you know what? That's okay, because #teamcoke all day everyday, no matter the content of "battery-acid" like acidity that it contains.
The White Fruit vs. The Strange Green Man
The biggest quarrel within my generation though no doubt goes to the notorious Apple versus Android discussion. You're either Apple laptop, iPhone 6S and matching headphones or Android phone and Windows PC, never both. For some reason there's no dabbling between the two.
Nike vs. ANYTHING ELSE
This is one that I sincerely hold near and dear to my heart. I'm not really going to comment much further than this comment right here. You either rock Nike, or you go naked. You really don't have any other option, no other brand. Anyone who says otherwise is no doubt whack, is what it is.
