1. You enjoy things more
When you begin the process of living for yourself, you become more aware of things you’ve never fully experienced before. Like, food tastes better. Seriously. You can enjoy swimming in the ocean without worrying about what someone thinks of you in the new bikini you bought. You say yes to the things you want, you accept challenges and you push yourself. You learn to say no to the things that you don’t want. Living for yourself allows you to fully appreciate living.
2. You surround yourself with positive people
It’s natural to reflect the ideas of others. Negativity will breed negativity and it’s contagious. While it may not seem like it at times, life is actually pretty simple. Yeah, bad things do happen. Things don’t always go our way. But maintaining a healthy perspective makes all the difference, and sharing that with others who feel the same makes things a lot easier.
I’ve learned that it’s perfectly okay to be picky. You have to make the decision to surround yourself with people who inspire you. You will feel relieved when you realize that people make life a lot more difficult than it has to be.
3. You find out who you are
Joel Osteen is quoted as saying this. “Don't ever criticize yourself. Don't go around all day long thinking, 'I'm unattractive, I'm slow, I'm not as smart as my brother.' God wasn't having a bad day when he made you... If you don't love yourself in the right way, you can't love your neighbor. You can't be as good as you are supposed to be.”
I like this quote because regardless of religion affiliations the theme is universal. You’re not as “good as you’re supposed to be” when you constantly compare yourself to others. Removing yourself from expectations gives you a lot more room to be happy and to essentially find out what makes you the person you are.
If you’re anything like me, the desire to please others will always be there. You have to be confident enough to act on what’s best for you, and if that removes people from your life you need to be okay with that.
4. You find out who your real friends are
I’ve learned that you don’t have to impress anyone at all. Seems strange, right? When I first accepted the idea it was so foreign that I rejected it. I felt like I was missing something until I began to live that way. No one is worth giving up any chance to enjoy something. No one at all. And you find out who’s truly there for you when you stop doing things to make anyone but yourself feel fulfilled.
Stress makes you sick. Literally. Worrying about how others perceive you can cause physical symptoms like weight gain, ulcers, and colds.
To find out more about diseases linked to stress, here's a cool write-up by Elizabeth Agnvall as she approaches stress by (proven) scientific research. It helped me put my own stress in perspective and how essential mental health is.
6. You become liberated
When you’ve successfully removed yourself from expectations, you feel freer. There’s something liberating about being able to just say “no, I don’t feel comfortable with that.” You start to trust your own instincts, and feel a sense of motivation in living the way you want to be living.
7. You forgive yourself for your mistakesYou’re human. We all have flaws and we all have all made mistakes. When you accept yourself for the past, you learn to fully absorb the present without affiliating yourself with the things you could have done but didn’t. It’s corny, but any mistake I have made has truly made me develop and I’m better for it.
8. You realize that people don’t care about you as much as you think
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” Eleanor Roosevelt brings up a good point. But if you’re anything like me this is a difficult task without effort, self-reflection, and patience. But when you do stop caring what people think of you? It’s freeing.
9. You recognize the true definition of being selfless
Being selfless is an amazing thing. I advocate selflessness fully. I think we should love more, help more, give more.
What I don’t advocate is giving up an aspect of yourself to please others. Being selfless should broaden your character. You should feel uplifted, motivated, encouraged. You should never feel like you’re giving something up to make someone else happy. Be an artist instead of a doctor if that makes you feel creative or important or fulfilled.
10. You become more creative and feel worthy
You recognize your talents and you can understand your “place”. I personally believe we all have contributions to society that some of us never discover. Once I started exploring my own personal goals for myself, I realized I felt a lot more complete and worthy.
