I am not an expert. On virtually anything. I have interests, I have hobbies, and I have two majors, none of which I have mastered or would call myself an expert in. Additionally, I am not an expert on the female of our species. Truthfully, although I have spent twenty-two years on this Earth, I am also not an expert on men. And I am 100% not an expert on relationships, dating, online dating, or love in any shape.
I had to get that out of the way so that you, dear reader, know that this article is as likely to be gospel as it is fiction. This article is about online dating, specially dating in apps. You know the apps, you might even have the apps. Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and so on. I have been known to use one or two of these, and I don't shy away from admitting it. In my opinion, these apps are revolutionary to the world of dating.
But you, dear reader, are skeptical. How can this be revolutionary? Are we not all going backward in terms of the evolution of human communication? Back to the days where we could only speak to each other in visceral grunts or gestures. Will we not one day simply rely on our technology to communicate for us, opening the door for the robots and algorithms to take over our lives while we sit idly by and fail to pay attention?
I say not at all. Cavemen (forgive me) didn't have iPhones, or Androids, or those Huawei phones that are apparently listening to you. Cavemen and cavewomen had to go out and find their match all the while braving lions and tigers and bears (oh my!). But you, dear reader, lie comfortably on your bed and swipe merrily along. Boom! Match! He/she is cute. Three Dots. Here we go!
Oh, it's a sappy pickup line or the burnt-out "Hey". Really, this is the good, the bad, and the ugly all wrapped up in one. Online dating apps are full of weirdos, cheats, cheaters, and old men posing as eighteen-year-old girls (look at the statistics, it is horrifying). Your match just played their hand by sending you the worst pickup line in history. Or the simplest thing one person could say to another person. Virtually no thought is given to an errant "Hey". Or maybe he/she asked you directly for coitus (Yikes!).
In any case, you have the ability to simply not message said person back. You can say to yourself, "This wacko just made a fool of themselves in one freaking message, God only knows what would happen on an ACTUAL date". Here, dear reader lies the good in terms of online dating. The user has the unique use of separation.
Mr. and Mrs. Caveperson were face to face (as were our parents and some of our siblings), they didn't have the luxury of simply not responding to a creepy man. That man was in their face! That man may have just touched their lower back trying to quote, "get past them". Shiver. Sigh. The ability of people to have physical separation while interacting for the first time using a dating app is the revolutionary part.
If someone wants to talk to you, or if your pickup line was actually good, they will message you back. It's simple. Any man or women can take their time to get to know if their potential suitor is a sociopath or an arrogant narcissist. In today's world, this is a wonderful thing. For this one fantastic reason, I believe that online dating is truly benefiting those who use it genuinely. As a caveat, if you are using tinder for late night booty calls, none of what you just read applies to you (but you do you).
But for those using these services and apps to genuinely meet people who they think they can ACTUALLY go on dates with, you are lucky. Never before have date-worthy humans been able to interact directly with other date-worthy humans without being face to face, in one capacity or another. Enjoy the separation and make sure you know the person before you meet them face to face. Remember, Mr. and Mrs. Caveperson are jealous.
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