I’m almost certain anyone with a computer or access to Twitter has seen that “Deez Nuts” is polling at 9% in our lovely home state of North Carolina… however in other more important news the Dow had a major stock market correction resulting in a drop of 1000 points (600 at closing), China, and other world economies are in the crapper, our president used an executive order to pass one of the most intrusive trade agreements ever, and the American public is more concerned about a confederate flag than the real issues going on.
Our country has steeped to a new low in apathy, the media is in part to blame for bringing light to issues that get views rather than issues that actually affect each and every one of us, and all of this has led to 1 in 10 voters in North Carolina deciding that a 15-year-old from Iowa running under the name “Deez Nuts” is the most qualified candidate to reside in the most powerful role in the free world. Sadly, I see where these voters are coming from.
In my opinion, the United States has not produced a truly qualified, or in the least worthy candidate for the presidential seat since before I was born (1994… yeah that’s 5 elections). Yes, Clinton oversaw one of the greatest economic booms in years (mainly due to the dot.com bubble), but he also was impeached for perjury and is best known for the quote “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” rather than anything he accomplished in his life… and yes his wife Hilary who may be less qualified is running this year.
What about Bush? Well although G-Dubya handled 9/11 well, and got scrutinized for the wars he got involved in (he didn’t really have much of an option) he's better known for his C average in college, his part in leading America into one of the worst recessions in recent memory, and the conspiracy theory’s surrounding his involvement in the worst terrorist attack in recent history. I will give him this, he at least loved his country… but that doesn’t make him a good president. His brother Jeb is also one of the leading candidates this year (seems to be some correlation here).
I’m not even going to go into President Obamas plunders in office, which brings us to today, where the leading candidates are as follows: a prior First Lady of an Impeached President, the Brother of a president who is known for some of the most illogical (yet funny) quotes and a C average in college, a Misogynist Billionaire that somehow is garnering ridiculous amounts due to his inability to control his impulses and keep his mouth shut, and yes, the man of the week Deez Nuts.
America is currently at a turning point… where we need a strong, smart, well-liked leader to help point us in the right direction so we don’t spiral down into a fiery train wreck. During a time where everyone gets a trophy, people want to make 15 dollars an hour plus to punch numbers into a cash register, the stock market is more volatile than ever, foreign relations are on thin ice, and police shootings are at an all time high, we the people can not even produce a viable candidate to save our lives (or our country for that matter).
That is why I am writing this guide, explaining the platform, the Pros, and cons of each candidate, in hopefully as unbiased a manner as possible, so everyone who reads this article can make an educated decision come election time; after all it is our duty, not just our right to vote, and not voting, or voting for a candidate solely because of race, sex, or party affiliation is a disgrace to all the men and woman who have died protecting that right, as well as all the men and women in other countries dying to try to gain that right. Hopefully if we can increase voter involvement, raise voter education, and decrease voter apathy, we will be able to produce many new great candidates in the years to come, because they will no longer be able to hide behind a party, but will have to be put in office based on what they stand for.
The Leading Candidates on Each Side:
Donald Trump:
Republican, Billionaire tycoon, Heavily Capitalist, IDGAF attitude, Considered sexist, racist, and known for having “no filter”
Platform: Very Capitalist economic viewpoint centered around economic Darwinism (survival of the fittest), Foreign policy immigration reform based on strengthening border control, stepping up against ISIS, Socially conservative view points, strong law enforcement, War on gangs, end welfare abuse, American preference in hiring, Increased wages for STEM workers
Hilary Clinton:
Democrat, Ex-First Lady, Formal Secretary of State, Wife of Impeached President,
Platform: Cut down on Abortion but government should not get involved, Increase minimum wage, Increase female wages, Correct economic and social injustices for minorities, Bankruptcy reform, increase government spending and thus taxes, “re-evaluated and changed mind on gay marriage”, reduced crime through heavy policing and drug diversion, medical marijuana now hold off on recreational, advocate of death penalty, end predatory college loans, higher teacher wages, strong funding for international development
Jeb Bush:
Republican, Brother of ex-president George W. Bush, Ex-Governor of Florida who saw Florida through great period of economic grown, criticized for voter fraud in 2000 election, “Reform-Minded Conservative”, called “Veto Corleone due to heavy veto’s as governor
Platform- Stays away from woman rights, bankruptcy reform, government spending reform, pro-racial and gender diversity in public officials, free market, pro-development, pro-growth, increased prison sentences, stricter penalties for drug, sex and gun offences, against legalization of marijuana, more federal funding on drug war, federal government should create choices not standards on education, embrace energy revolution, cancel nuclear deal with Iran, stop letting Putin (and Russia) bully by expanding troop presence in surrounding countries , US should shape events and build alliances in countries who become free, strengthen Cuban embargo, legislative term limits, reform socialized health care, no plan to deport, earned legal status instead of amnesty, “I admire my father and Brother but I am my own man”.
Bernie Saunders:
Democrat, self-proclaimed socialist, ex-congressmen from Vermont
Platform: Pro stem Cell research, Pro Choice, Pro 192 Billion recession stimulus, modify bankruptcy rules, pro gay marriage, pro civil rights, less prisons more alternative sentencing, legalized marijuana, no military border controls, Allow courts to decide on using “god” in pledge of allegiance, pro-education spending, tax incentives for “green” energy, rated low on free trade opinions, approves congressional pay raises, no id required to vote, pro-gun control voting record, health care is a right not a privilege, increase federal funds for declared “sanctuary” immigration city’s, no to immigration reform, expand unemployment from 39 to 59 weeks, raise minimum wage, voted with democratic party on 95% of bills
Deez Nuts:
15 year old from Iowa who single-handedly made a joke out of our presidential election
Platform: “ask not what Deez Nuts can do for you, Ask what you can do for Deez Nuts”
Please use this guide when evaluating the candidates in the 2016 election, but like any article written by a human it is impossible to keep unbiased. I encourage all of you to research each and every candidate although I only included the 4 front runners from each party, so you do not end up voting for “Deez Nuts”. A special thanks to http://ontheissues.com which is a fairly unbiased website by which you can analyze each presidential candidate, as well as statements they have made, bills they have voted for and against, and their stance in many different areas of concern. Hopefully through improved education we can decrease voter apathy, and thus produce an astounding president who can make this country we all love so much truly great again. I am extremely proud to be an American and believe that every American should exercise their right to vote. “Tragedy of the Commons” is the real deal, and every vote makes a difference, so educate yourself, and I will see you at the polls in 2016!
