I bet by the title of this article that you thought I would be addressing the recent Kimye/Taylor Swift drama, or that I would be writing about supporting women and not name-calling, or maybe your mind wondered to this year's presidential election. No matter where your mind immediately went to, the “B” word I am talking about is "bullying." Coming from a teenager who has been through bullying and watched others go through it, I think it’s time we start a legitimate discussion to find a solution and stop sugarcoating the problem.

If you went to middle school or high school in the last 10 years, you probably sat through assemblies that focused on bullying or friendships or just being nice. You may have had teachers that gave you a speech or two about why it’s never okay to talk about someone or be mean. You may have even had the local police come talk to your class like I did. While all of these things start with good intentions, few people actually pay attention and those who do rarely do anything to take what is being said and put it into action. I’m not here to propose some complex solution or to shove encouragement down your throat, but rather, I’m here to help start a discussion of what bullying really is.

When most people think of the the words “bully” or “bullying,” they think about the severe situations that have been broadcasted nationally and unfortunately usually end in suicide. Now, I mention this because when schools have assemblies and teachers give their speeches and the police talk to classes, they mainly address these cases and how to help someone who is already low and depressed and feeling alone. Few and far between do they talk about the bullying that goes on every day and how to identify when it starts. I was bullied in eighth grade and it wasn’t until my junior year of high school that I realized when it all started. I thought it started when my best friends started being rude and attacking me on Facebook and in the halls at school, but I now know it started long before that. They would exclude me from things we used to do all the time, like going to the movies and staying the night. They would stop conversations when I walked in the room, and would rarely tell me what they were talking about. I know now that the last actual conversation I had with my friends before everything happened on Facebook and in school was at least three months prior. All of that to say this: if we stopped telling teens what to do once a person is depressed and suicidal and started identifying the problem when it first arises, maybe, just maybe, a small difference can be made.

Think of it this way: if your gas light comes on in your car, do you go to the gas station and fill your tank or do you wait until you are stranded on the side of the road with nobody around to help? Obviously, you go put gas in your tank. Now think about this: if you notice that your friend says something unusual about you or someone else and it hits you wrong, do you ask them about it or ignore it? Sadly, most people ignore it and think it’s nothing. I wish I wouldn’t have ignored it in eighth grade. I wish I wouldn’t have ignored it my sophomore year when I noticed it going on in my friend group. The majority of teens go through high school not noticing the little signs, like unusual and rude comments, or exclusions from hangouts they used to be a part of. It’s time that schools start talking about these problems and teachers start including examples like these in their speeches.

I also am not trying to belittle the bullying cases that take off on social media and are nationally broadcasted and end is such sadness. Social media has a mind of its own and comes with its fair share of pros and cons. I know what it’s like to be that low and helpless, to feel unwanted and rejected, and to feel alone. I am simply saying that a lot of bullying could be prevented if we did something about it before it got to that point. I will also be the first to admit that I don’t do the best job at stepping up, but it’s time we start learning how to step up so that we can teach the next generation how to. You don’t kill a weed but pulling at the tangled surface, you kill it by pulling the root. So why are we barely scraping the surface of bullying and not grabbing it from the root? Confronting a friend about something they said is never easy and is never seen as the ‘cool’ thing to do. I say, let’s stop making ‘they don’t really mean it’ cool and start making ‘you really shouldn’t say that’ cool.

Now, I challenge you to do one of two things. The first being, if you see or hear something unusual from someone you know, STEP UP! The second being, if you don’t see or hear anything, give a stranger a compliment. You never know who might be feeling low or alone.