The invisible sexuality. Fakers. Confused. Overly-sexual. Anti-monogomous.
I could go on with a million and one other stereotypes we have all heard about bisexuals. It's easy to take what we hear and think of it as fact, but how much of what we know is actually the truth?
Let's start with the basics. What is bisexuality? By definition, bisexuality is the the experience of being attracted to two or more genders. This means that a person who is bisexual would be open to having a relationship (whether exclusively sexual, or romantic as well) with males, females, and/or other genders. Simple enough, right?
Now, let's address some of the common myths and misconceptions surrounding bisexuality.
No, if a bisexual is dating someone of a different gender, that does not mean that they are straight. And in the same way, if they are dating someone of the same gender, that does not make them gay. They are still bisexual no matter who they are dating, and even when they aren't dating anyone at all.
Being bisexual does not mean that someone is against monogamy. Bisexual people are just as likely to be in a monogamous relationship as someone of any other sexuality. Bisexuality is completely different from polyamory; being attracted to multiple genders doesn't mean that you need to be with multiple genders at the same time.
No, bisexuals aren't looking to have a threesome with you and your partner. This is one of the most common questions asked on dating profiles when someone discloses that they are bisexual. Not only is it crass, it's rude and presumptuous. Again, being attracted to multiple genders doesn't mean that you want to be with them at the same time.
Bisexuals are not inherently promiscuous. We don't choose our label because it makes it easier to be with as many people as possible, despite what many may seem to think.
One big reason that there are so many misconceptions about bisexuality is the lack of representation in media. LGBT representation in general is woefully lacking, but that is a different conversation entirely. But what has grabbed the attention of anyone who has bothered to notice, is that the word 'bisexual' is rarely, if ever, said.
There might be characters shown who have relationships with men and women, but they are never labeled as bisexual. Instead, they are said to either be straight but flexible for the sake of promiscuity, or gay and just have covered it up in the past. When in reality, they are people who experience attraction to more than one gender. Examples of this mislabeling include Piper Chapman in 'Orange is the New Black', Brittany Pierce in 'Glee', Clarke Griffon in 'The 100', Willow Rosenberg in 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer', and countless others. In all of these cases, the character has had relationships with both men and women, but their sexualities have been written off as either straight or gay, depending on who they are with at the time.
This lack of representation in media leads to a lack of understanding in real life situations. People believe all of the stereotypes and myths surrounding bisexuality because they aren't shown examples of well rounded and well represented bisexuals in any form.
Bisexuality is more common than you might think. A recent study showed that 31% of Americans under the age of 30 identified as somewhere on the bisexual spectrum.
The best thing to do in order to fully understand bisexuality and the truth about the people behind the label is to do your research. Talk to people who are open about their sexuality, and get their thoughts on these tall tales and misconceptions.
And remember, "Love is love is love is love is love..."
