Step parents, nobody particularly wishes for them, but sometimes you get them. They are like the fuzzy socks in your stocking at Christmas. You didn’t ask for them, but they are there, and you end up loving them. There are so many perks to step parents, number one, you get two dads and two moms. This can also be a bad thing; it’s like, yay double the Christmas presents, but oh no, quadruple the aftermath and scorning when you screw up in life. It is easy to say that step parents are the ultimate frenemy.
If you have divorced parents, you can relate. When your biological parent’s start dating other people and you want to vomit, cry, and be happy for them all at the same time, so when you do end up meeting their new babe you start acting like a total psycho antisocial, because who can manage all of those emotions at once? No one. And then the time comes where they get too serious too fast, and all of the sudden, hey wedding number two (or three or four, depending on the parent and their lifestyle). In actuality, you probably like your newest step parent, or if you don’t you will (trust me, I’ve been there, they grow on you). Next thing you know, your family is “normal” again.
This transition with the new parent on the block is hard, mainly because they haven’t known you since birth like the OP’s did (original parents). So, there are many fights, many doubts, many “you’re not my dad/mom” bombs, and sometimes you think it’s the end of the world. But then when you aren’t rebelling, or trying to gain all of the attention for yourself, you realize how happy this new person makes your mom or dad, and then the guilt hits. No one wants to feel like someone is replaced, but in actuality, they aren’t being replaced, this is just a new unpredicted chapter in life. So, you finally decide to give them a chance, and wow you should’ve done this from the beginning. It’s so much nicer on this side of the fence. You have to understand, they want to make you happy just like they make your parent happy.
Now that I’ve spent ten years with my step dad, things are a lot smoother. If there is ever an issue with my car, he’s the first one on it, if I need support you know he’s up in the stands cheering me on louder than my own mom. He’s actually really awesome. My dad hasn’t had his next fairytale wife (he got divorced from my first step mom) but there have definitely been potential step mom’s in my life since. Step-Moms are great for talking about what you don’t exactly feel comfortable talking to your own mom about. They’re a motherly figure, but you didn’t come out of their womb, so you can tell them just about anything.
It’s always hard, but that’s because it’s different. It’s always a love/hate relationship, for numerous reasons, but in the end you put the conflicts aside and look at how happy your Mom or Dad is with their new partner. If your family is going through the big D (divorce), or even the big M (marriage), and new people are coming in and out, my best advice to you is to keep an open mind, and hold on, it’s an interesting ride with these new frenemies, but in the end you will love them for all of their comfort and support they fill your family with.
