When something is right, you generally don’t have to second guess it. When it comes to relationships with other people, you generally shouldn’t find yourself in a constant state of wondering. Wondering if they really like you, wondering if they are in it for the long run, wondering if they are being truthful. When someone is in it for the long run and has a genuine interest in you, you will know it, you will feel it, and you won’t be feeling paranoid or “crazy.”
Your grandparents and parents—whether they stayed together or not— had some sort of long-term relationship. This type of relationship you don’t see these days or, that many can’t find for themselves. I personally, come from a long line of successful, til-death-do-you-part relationships. My grandfather stayed with my grandmother until her last breath and never moved on after her. She was it for him, and that was no secret.
My parents have been together for over three decades, I know this is something that isn’t common, at least not today, and I know I am very lucky. I also know why this has made me the old soul that I am and the reason I will not settle. Some people say I am too picky, but I know that there is real love out there, so why would I settle for something less when I have seen it with my own eyes? You can’t let others tell you that you are crazy for being picky, or crazy for not wanting to play the games modern day dating very often throws your way.
Today’s day and age allows constant communication but it isn’t communication that is face-to-face. It is communication that allows room for error with whether or not someone meant what they said, whether they are just sending the same text to ten other people, or if their sarcasm was misconstrued.
It takes nothing more than ten seconds for someone to send a text saying “good morning” or “I miss you” but then in person, they don’t back up these sweet nothings because they only sent it because they were bored.
Today’s dating and the giddy stage of “talking” most of the time relies on little in-person interaction and just doesn’t sustain real life. Real life is messy and unpredictable. Whether you are at a point in your life where you are looking for something long term or just someone to date, know that there are going to be times in your life when you are going to need someone, yes need them.
You won’t be able to get through everything that life throws your way on your own as much as you would like to believe you can. You need to stop creating false connections with people who care little for your wellbeing and people who won’t be there for you when life gets real. Most people want some type of connection so badly these days that they will force it wherever they can, and then feel bad when it doesn’t sustain the plans they had for it. Real life also doesn’t sustain plans or your attempt to control it.
Stop the constant search, it will find you (I know, cliché). How many people do you know that it really didn’t work out for? Really think about the people in your life…very few who are older walk around without a story of someone who impacted their life. When you rush something or are constantly searching for something, you won’t be putting out the right type of energy to attract positive things to come your way.
Looks are important to most but make sure the person behind the selfie with five-hundred likes will also be there for you at five in the morning when everything seems to come crashing down. We are bombarded with images and fall in love with the ideas of people and then get disappointed when that face has little depth. A pretty face is nice, but it doesn’t always make for a pretty life.
Love was real for the generations behind us because most were for the connection they made in person. They didn’t have so many options or apps to connect with complete strangers and make connections based on very little depth. Our grandparents carried til-death-do-us-part through because they fell in love with the person and not a profile.
We can’t keep complaining about being “forever alone” when we aren’t willing to care about someone else more than ourselves. Know that nothing worthwhile happens when you are constantly seeking it out. Put down the phone and pick your head up, you are missing things every day.
Your virtual search for someone to spend your life with will never bring you the type of happiness you are looking for. If you are searching for something real, start looking for real qualities, in real people, in real everyday life.
