Doesn’t 20 feel like such a milestone? You survived middle school, blue eyeshadow, high school and now half way to a degree. You have grown up so much and are becoming someone that you can be proud of. For me, college has been a time to gain a positive self-image and break away from everything I once believed in high school. A time where I can take a time out from the large friend circles and really focus on myself. I have developed a whole new perspective and learned to love myself because why waste time on being anything less than happy with who you are. Of course, if you have read recent blogs of mine, you can see the evolution of my life and building self-confidence.

However, ever since I hit the big two zero, everyone around me thinks it’s time to marry me off and have babies. Let’s face it, we can’t even take care of a fish at this point in our life let alone another person. When I hit this age, I found a new outlook on marriage. My best friend and I always have long conversations on this topic and have found that many people focus on the wedding and not the days that come after. We never look at marriage as being something scary, but I find it to be one of the scariest things we will take on in this life, but also one the most amazing adventures. Of course, I haven’t found the person that I will be spending forever with so I don’t fully understand what it is like to be in this kind of relationship, but my thoughts on love and marriage have evolved greatly since I was 14 and a freshman in high school to now.

If I have learned anything throughout my 20 years of life, it’s that we shouldn’t be looking for our other half. A relationship is not supposed to complete who you are. If you aren't fully aware of who you are, how can you ever know what you really want or thrive in a relationship? You need to be secure in who you are. When looking for another half, you are placing your whole identity on someone else and when they are gone, you are left trying to pick up the pieces of your own life. If you live relationship after relationship, you become more insecure, because you never found who truly are to begin with. Finding yourself should always be the main priority before ever forming a real relationship with another person.

Then when it comes to looking for your person, how do you know?

I know so many people, myself included, who say some days they can see themselves marrying their significant other, but other days they just aren’t completely sure. I know I have felt trapped in relationships because I know I should be completely in love with a person but I just couldn’t find it in me to say I could spend forever with them. It seemed so hard at the time to let that person go, but recently I have found that is worth finding that one person. In my mind, every day should be a day that I could say yes I could spend forever with this person. When you think of the rest of your life, that’s a long time to stay with that one person. You don’t want to think “ehh I don’t want to do life with you today.” Imagine if you took the time to find the person that made every day a yes day. Imagine the amount of heartbreak that would be saved. I have always felt that if I have a no day in a relationship, it can’t be the person I am made to be with. I feel like when you meet the one, no matter how bad the day is there will never be a doubt in your mind that that is your person. It is like God created the person perfectly designed for you and you both know that's it's the real thing.

So as we venture out into the dating world, remember to never settle for less because our person is out there praying that we are looking for them too.