No matter if your significant other is your absolute opposite or practically the same person as you, communication and compromise are significant factors to a healthy lasting relationship.
First, let’s talk about compromise. If your partner does not like the same things as you, that is completely fine. It is fine to like people with different interests than you. You can use those interests to broaden your horizons and make your relationship stronger. For example, if you are dating someone who likes to read and you are the type of person who likes to play video games, that is perfectly acceptable. However, just blowing off or belittling your significant other’s likes is not kosher. Instead, try coming to a compromise. The compromise can be as simple as the person who enjoys video games has to read a book for at least 30 minutes a day (one that is agreed upon by both parties) while the person who adores reading has to play a video game (again agreed by both parties) for at least 30 minutes a day. I am not, by all means, saying that you suddenly have to fall in love with what your partner loves, what I am saying, however, is to experience, to compromise, to grow as a couple. For example, I love playing video games, and so does my boyfriend. However, I am more into playing console games while he has recently been on a PC/Multiplayer Online Battle Arena (MOBA) kick. Instead of dissing his games and begging him to play Xbox One (okay only slight dissing at first—come on guys, MOBA is hard to learn), I instead tried out his games and (with some convincing) I have fallen in love with MOBA’s to an extent that rivals his passion for them. We now play MOBA’s practically every night. This has not only strengthened our relationship, but it has also broadened my horizons into a different spectra of the gaming world. Be aware that by doing this, you are not changing for your partner. You are, however, giving something your partner loves a chance, and by doing so, learning how to love your partner better. If you don’t at least try to give your significant other’s passions a chance, someone else will. Nevertheless, make sure that you are not the only one who is compromising. For true compromise to happen within a relationship, both parties have to be trying to learn each other’s passions are full or else the one compromising so much will run out of love to give.
Now, let’s face the elephant in the room: communication. Communication is key to any long-term relationship. Without communication, you cannot even know what to compromise with your partner on. I know it is hard sometimes to communicate and if it is something you and your partner are struggling with just take baby steps first. For example, maybe your significant other gives certain words special meanings or certain questions and phrases may mean different things to different people. However, do not lose heart. You are with this person for a reason. You fell in love with his or her language, and y’all can figure this out together. If your significant other hates the word, “sure” replace “sure” with “yes” or “okay” or practically anything else. If they ask you “what is wrong” yet hate when you ask it, maybe try changing the phrase to “what are you thinking about?” or “Is something bothering you?” The point is to work with your partner and to be respectful. Let each other talk, and let each other know if certain words or phrases bother you. Once that step is finished, the path of communication will be traveled with far less fear and confusion.
Just remember, anything good takes time and hard work.
