The "Talking" Stage Of A Relationship

Growing up, we were never really told how to have a relationship with someone. I always dreamed it was just a natural and glorious thing similar to what you would see in a fairy tale or romantic comedy movie. You know, the typical situation where you randomly meet someone on the street or in a coffee shop because you accidentally bumped into each other and the rest is history. That’s what I thought dating and relationships were like, not the wishy-washy in between we have now.

Now there is this perfectly placed stage between just friends and dating, which we call “talking”. This talking stage is a weird mix of flirting and hanging out like a normal couple would but at the same time not putting the official label on the relationship. This stage has developed from people not wanting to commit to one singular person at a time and only wanting to be with them when they please. The idea of going out on a date has turned into a “you up?” text at midnight and saying “i love you” has been replaced with emojis of all all sorts.

Of course as the generations change, we adapt to the social changes and try to fit in with the crowd, but when did dating become a rare thing? Why is it expected that you should hook up with someone before ever even going on a date when just a few decades back, kissing on the first date was seen as “taking things too fast”? When did the idea of taking someone on a date in general just stop? Spending time with someone for a few hours with no phones or social media is completely out of the question now because the idea of face-to-face contact for a long period of time is too intimidating. The talking stage is like a test to see if someone is good enough, but the relationship itself is suppose to be a measure of someone's love for another so why is a test ever needed? Understandably we like to know there is some security if we choose to see the relationship further, but there is never a promise of it.

I have never in my personal life seen a guy ask a girl out on a date like it usually happens in a movie or when older generations described to me what it was like in high school. The idea of dating and caring for one person unconditionally has been replaced with partly caring about a few people because they are attractive and greed settles in. The idea of dating needs to be brought back because playing with someone’s heart and making them feel special and loved and cared for and wanted is nothing to mess with. We as millennials want an award for everything because growing up we learned that no one loses, until you lose someone because you thought you were special enough to win their love. Taking the chance at dating and falling in love with the wrong people is what being a teenager is all about. We need to learn from the lessons that our heartbreak has taught us, not run from them in fear of ever being hurt. Love is beautiful and everyone gets to experience it, but to what degree we get loved in return shouldn’t be lessened in fear of a label or getting hurt. We need to learn to embrace love and our relationships for what they are and bring back the idea of bringing happiness to a singular person for as long as we can because thats how it should be, not a game in which the prize is a chance at love.