In our world today, if someone tells you they are in a long distance relationship, people often ask “how come?” and say that it “won't ever last." Well, that isn’t promising, is it? It is almost as if it is looked down upon and expected to fail. Traveling to other states is needed to see each other, you aren’t living in the town next door anymore, Skyping and sharing screens to watch TV shows together and staying in to have late night phone calls all become a regular thing. Those people who respond those ways to me obviously do not see it as a blessing, but a burden. However, to me, I would have to disagree and say it is a blessing.
I decided to go to college in Illinois, my home state, while my boyfriend chose New York in the East coast. They are 751 miles apart, but the distance has given me a new perspective. I thought at first it was going to be impossible to do, but after finishing with my first semester and a week into my second semester, I have found that a long distance relationship was the best thing ever. It not only has shown me how strong a relationship with someone can be, but it also has taught me that I am able to be independent and on my own. I began to see how much the little moments that seemed so small and negligible to me really mattered.
It was so easy to have him come over to my house or for me to go to his. It was so easy to pick him up and go to dinner and a movie. I was super lucky to always have him around to hang out with me and be by my side to give me some advice or cheer me up. I didn’t realize how much I truly do love his hugs or how much I have come to miss him poking at me and messing up my hair when he knew in his mind how much it bothered me.
People are around each other for so long and become adapted to the lifestyle so easily, that it is often hard when it changes. The change of my boyfriend and I moving away to separate colleges brought out the truth about how much my life has been impacted by my relationship.
Freshman year of high school, my boyfriend and I started dating. It has been a little over four years. I did not think it was possible for me to go from seeing him every day for four years to seeing him once or twice a semester if I got lucky.
However, now that I have done the long distance relationship thing for about half a year, I've learned that the expectations people have for a long distance relationship to fail can be put to rest, as they are false. At least, they will all turn out to be false if there is effort put in on both sides of the relationship. A relationship is a two-way street. Both people must make efforts for it to succeed.
Honesty is key. Communication, whether on FaceTime, texting or long phone calls, is a necessity. However, space is needed too. Two people being together in a long distance relationship in different states and at different schools calls for mutual respect. You have to accept that you both have your own life at their school, away from the other. Although this may seem scary, I see it as a good thing.
It is a good thing that you and your partner have separate lives in separate states at separate schools. Some may ask, “are you crazy?” No, I am not. Living in separate states makes it so much more fun when it is time to visit each other. You get to explore new states and go to new restaurants or unique experiences that state has to offer. Also, living in separate states makes it much more meaningful when you see one another for the first time in a long time. That time together for that short weekend is so much more special. Having your separate groups of friends is a plus too. You will soon be introduced to your partners group of friends and gain new friendships (and of course, gain more Instagram followers).
So, if you or someone you know is ever considering to not have a long distance relationship, have them consider it one more time. After doing it for half a semester, I say stick with it.
In my case, I did not doubt for one second we couldn’t make it work long distance. If you can trust someone and support someone, your relationship will exist. Being in a long distance relationship was probably the best thing that could ever happen to me, and I do not regret it for one second.
Don’t let someone tell you that long distance relationships are expected to fail. I can speak from personal experience that is not the case. If something is meant to be, it will be no matter how far apart two people are. Only the future will tell.
