Like some people, I am quiet when first meeting a new person but as the relationship grows, I open up and my true personality comes out. The truth is, I am extremely loud, sarcastic, giggly, and obnoxious. But most people would never have guessed that upon meeting me for the first time. I used to view my personality and introverted ways as a downfall and felt inferior because of it. Now, I’m beginning to accept myself for who I am, shyness and all. However, with acceptance comes figuring out the “Why?” behind my personality.
I remember in elementary school I was known as the “Quiet One.” In fact, I won an award in the sixth grade titled, “Quietest Band Member,” which I quietly accepted. My quiet ways continued throughout high school. However, there were always a few of my closest friends that knew the “real” Sarah. The Sarah that was not afraid to be too loud, laugh obnoxiously, or be the first to speak in a quiet room. This was the Sarah I wish I was all of the time regardless of who I am with or where I am.
Within the past few months, the loud and carefree Sarah has come out more and more. I owe this in part to an increase in responsibility. Renting an apartment, working two jobs, and living across the country from my parents forced me to grow up and demand that my needs be met. I learned that my voice does in fact matter as well as my needs which gave me a much needed boost of confidence. Additionally, having a very good friend that I could trust and tell anything to helped me to come out of my shell. The walls I had built up to protect myself didn’t need to be so high or thick. It didn’t happen overnight but as time went on, I have learned that I don’t need to hide who I am really am or act a certain way.
The best part I learned is that I truly enjoy being with other people. The social anxiety is still present but I no longer totally dread large gatherings or meeting new people. I try not to plan out conversations or act like anyone but myself. Shyness is not a personality flaw but rather another layer that makes me who I am.
To any other outgoing-introverts struggling with their personality, remember that people will love you for who you are. Let time take its toll and you may find your out-going traits overpowering your introverted ways. It is never too late to change who you are and be the person you always wished you could be.
