At the young age of 19, I like to think I've learned a thing or two about the process of growing up. I know I have a long way to go until I can officially declare myself a professional adult, but I'm a strong believer in personal growth. No matter what age I am, I know there will still be plenty for me to learn about myself. However, this past year I have learned a few things about a subject that can be sore for a lot of people: being alone.

Loneliness is that aching feeling that comes around when we realize we are only surrounded by no one other than ourselves. Some deal with it better than others; I am definitely not one of those people. Before I started college, I assumed I would be surrounded by people 100% of the time, and I was completely fine with that. Long story short, people go their separate ways and find their own niche. By the end of Spring semester of my freshman year, I still hadn't found my own.

I found myself doing a lot of things by myself that people typically do with other people. I was going out to eat, doing homework, shopping, and just hanging out by myself. To top it off, I didn't have a roommate. It bothered me that I didn't have people to text and have come over at all hours of the day. I wondered what was wrong with me and why I couldn't find my niche as easily as others did. This caused me to start overanalyzing everything I did. Was my laugh too loud? Was I too sarcastic? Did I have a naturally mean look on my face that I was unaware of? I began overthinking and basically gave myself social anxiety. I was self-conscious of the fact that I was alone, and I felt there was no way for me to pull myself through the feeling of being by myself.

One day I woke up and felt it was time to make a change. I realized that if I wanted this feeling to go away I needed to make changes and do it myself. The first step was to go out of my comfort zone. I needed to do things that I wouldn't normally do. As a person, it is nearly impossible to grow if you are not willing to step outside your typical box. I decided to step out of mine and attend the Awareness Fair. It was the start of the semester, so I began taking an interest in clubs and various organizations, being that it is the best way to get involved on campus. I also started reaching out to people more often. I made sure I said hi to people in my residence hall, and began making a few more friends. Not long after, I came across a great opportunity:

Delta Phi Epsilon sent out a notice that they were to be holding recruitment events.

I had never thought of myself as the type of girl to join a sorority. Ever. I had this preconceived idea that I just was not the type of girl to be in one. However, in order to pull myself out of this funk I created, it was necessary that I attend the recruitment events. I knew that this would be the determining factor to whether I would sink or swim. After a few recruitment events, I found myself completely in love with the sisters of Delta Phi Epsilon! I received a bid and began my new member process recently.

Everything was only going up and getting better from that point on. Once I taught myself how to step outside of my comfort zone and try new things, I realized that it's completely okay to feel alone. It's okay to want more for yourself, because it taught me that I was the only one who determined my happiness. Rather than sitting in my room wondering why I wasn't with other people or doing group activities, I went out there and tried new things. My goal when I started my process was to teach myself that I am the only one that can determine if I sink or swim. It doesn't matter if there is one person around me or a thousand; the only thing that matters is that I am doing something I love and that I am passionate about. I found that I wasn't upset at the fact that I was alone, but more so at the fact that I had not yet found my niche. It took a lot of work, but I did it, and I am proud of it.

Take my story as an example and a lesson. If you feel like you haven't quite found your place on campus, do not give up. Do not feel like you absolutely do not belong anywhere. Do not blame yourself for not adjusting as quickly as others, and even though it may feel like you are the only one going through it; you're not. Step out of your comfort zone, develop a positive attitude, try new things, and you will be successful. You may end up somewhere you would never have guessed in a million years, and it could, surprisingly, be one of the best decisions you ever make.