Driving down the highway and that song comes on that you both used to sing to at the top of your lungs. For a minute or so, memories start flooding your mind and you smile. There was so much good and so much love that for a moment you forget all the bad. You forget that school started getting more stressful, work started taking over, the distance began to influence choices, and outside spectators started pushing you and your ex further away from each other. Everything started to build up, but that moment in the car, with that song, you forget the bad and only remember the good.
You could tell things were changing, but the more you tried to figure out what was wrong, the more it seemed to complicate things. The comments from the outside spectators that were housed in the back of your mind started to come forth, no matter how much you say it didn’t influence the choices you both made, it did. Apologizing felt like a daily task and sometimes you didn't even know why or for what you were saying sorry for. Like a ticking time bomb, things were left unsaid. The changes you noticed and asked about, never got answers to, but then one day that time bomb explodes.
It’s hard when you go through that heartbreak, feels like everything you knew was ripped away from you. All the plans you both made, all the secrets you share together, all the hopes and dreams are now gone in a blink of an eye. Those first days are the hardest and maybe some more after that are hard too. Your family is telling you that you’ll be okay, your friends are telling you to move on, but all you want do is go back.
But why? Did you ever think about why you want to go back? Something obviously wasn’t working. You miss the good, you miss the moments that felt like they were out of a fairy-tale you read as a child, you miss how much your family loved your ex, you miss the conversations and having someone who shared the same dreams. Honestly, it's okay to miss the good moments that you shared with that person, but you can't change what has happened in the present time.
As time goes on you don’t even notice how you get stronger. Even after you realize your ex has moved on, you start to move on yourself. You stop waiting for that phone call, you start to laugh more, you don’t constantly think of “what if,” and you start to notice the things around you. You start to meet new people, go on awkward first dates again, plan spontaneous road trips, you start to focus on who you are as an individual and realize how much you have to offer. You look at your future with a different perspective. You realize that this end to a relationship wasn’t the end of the world, but the start of something- start of a new chapter in your life. All this doesn’t mean you don’t miss the person you once thought was the one, but it just means that pain you thought would never go away is starting to heal.
Everything happens for a reason, there is a reason why that person was in your life at that time and there is a reason why they aren’t in your life any more. Try to see the good and trust that there was a reason for this. One day you will find that someone and who is to say that it won’t be your ex. Until that day comes, focus on you. Do things you never thought you would do and try things you never thought you would try. Get up, workout, go to class, study, and kick butt. Because at the end of the day you have to be you and you can’t let something hold you back from a world that has so much to offer.
