Many years ago, we were almost lost in a winter storm.

We were starting another snow trip in northern Japan. After a sharp left turn into the mountains, we left a major city and headed to our reserved suburb retreat. Room booked. Dinner confirmed. My dad steered the four-wheel drive Toyota into a mountain valley. I can not recall where exactly we were or how old I was. However, I was old enough to recall the fear of losing our way in an unknown snow storm.

That night, the snow storm was stronger than usual. Along with the roaring engine, a mix of snow and ice kept hitting our rear window. We followed the flickering GPS direction, yet did not see any passing cars or legible road signs. We progressed at an unusually slow speed, in strong contrast to my dad’s usual speeding style, blasting loud music.

Dad carefully took a turn and steered through the snow; Mom blankly stared out at the pitch dark; my brother and I pretended to fall asleep. An odd silence took over the car. I caught myself in the illusion of all the horror movies and tragic stories. What if the brake loses control on shattered ice and throws us down the hill? What if we run out of gas? What if the storm never stops that night? What if we cannot survive? The silence heightened my uneasiness. “How long is the ride?” I dearly asked, hoping to get out of this nightmare. “Almost, we are almost there,” Mom replied and did not even look at us. I followed up with the same question every hour after, yet she neither turned back nor changed the response. She was probably trying really hard to comfort us, but could not find a possible way to navigate through the unknown snow trap. Deep, deep into the night, I quietly calculated the possibility of getting out, being rescued, or covered by a deadly avalanche.

I can not recall what ended up diverting my attention, perhaps I was too tired and eventually fell asleep. I tried to recall how we survived that night, but all I remembered was a huge slid on the glacier and spinning on the edge of the cliff. That night, we were almost taken from a place we barely knew to another place we would never want to be.