The Seven Steps Of Writing A Paper
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

The Seven Steps Of Writing A Paper

Struggles every student goes through when trying to write academically.

33
The Seven Steps Of Writing A Paper
Word Press

Recently, I did what all students should avoid at all costs. I binge wrote an eight-page Shakespeare paper. During this trying time I documented the "stages" of my struggle, these are those stages.

Stage One: Excitement. You’ve opened up a new word document and have proudly displayed your name in the top right-hand corner. The font is set to Times New Roman and you’re all ready to double space it up. The empty page before you doesn’t bother you, it’s full of possibilities. You can do anything. Write anything. Be anything. You are a scholarly genius just waiting to show your professor your superb writing skills. Crack your knuckles and buckle down to kick this paper’s literary ass.

Stage Two: Doubt. You totally suck at writing. What are you even doing right now? You call that a thesis?! That’s a sentence full of fluff and stupidity and you know it. Your sources are complete crap. Do they even have anything to do with your topic? Did you seriously just cite a Wikipedia article? Are you trying to fail? Your professor is going to laugh at you. This is pitiful. You’re horrible. Just drop out of school right now.

Stage Three: Determination. Alright, you’ve got this. You can do this. Throw on some motivational music and write this thing! You are a strong, literary genius who don’t need no 4.0 to be a great and powerful human.

Stage Four: Procrastination. You’ve written a great introduction. It’s attention grabbing. It uses words with five syllables. You’ve got a few semi-colons in there that seem like they’re doing stuff. You’re golden. You’ve got so much time to spare. Just pop Netflix open on your laptop and kick back with some Taco Bell. You’ll totally be fine spending a few hours away from your paper. Take all the Buzzfeed quizzes you want. Stalk all the people you went to high school with on Facebook: Who’s pregnant? Who’s married? Who’s high off their ass 24/7? You've got nothing to worry about.

Stage Five: Panic. Why did you spend a whole day watching "Chopped"? You are going to fail! You’re not even done with page one! You only have a subpar introduction and a crappy thesis! There is not enough fluff in the world to make this paper worthy of even a 3.0. Your professor is going to fail you! There’s no way you’ll get an extension you’ve had a whole month to do this thing. It’s due in a day! What were you thinking?

Stage Six: Screw it. It’s whatever. It’s just worth 60 percent of your grade. You can always take easy electives to get it back up. Just write something and turn it in. Need to write two more pages and don’t have anything to talk about? Well, good thing you’ve got some sources because you’re about to quote everything. Don’t have a source to back up your point? Screw it. Just make it sound like you know what you’re talking about. It’ll be fine. It’s whatever.

Stage Seven: Relief. You did it. You’ve turned it in. You don’t have to worry about it anymore. Who cares if your professor hates it? Who cares if you hate it? It’s over and done with. Go home, make some Easy Mac, and watch some cartoons for a few hours until you remember that you’ve got a Stats essay due at midnight.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

45710
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

28946
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

953411
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

160257
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments