If you have not read my previous article about suicide, this article might not make much sense to you. And I know how morbid reading about suicide can be, especially in the blue month of January. However, suicide is a tragic event impacting more people than ever before. Mental illness has had such a stigma for decades, and I think it is time that we break the cycle! It is the stigma of not being “normal” (whatever that means), in accordance to society.

By simply not complying to current trends people think you are from another planet; not knowing about the hottest TV shows, etc. All of these instances trigger people to ask, “What rock have you been living under?” Or, my personal favorite, “You’ve never heard of [insert celebrity name here] or [new word created by some two-bit rap artist]? Who are you!?”

I have seen first-hand how “normal” individuals react to someone who has, for example, bipolar disorder or Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I see it when I am walking with an old friend and I know she has been sexually assaulted by a man who drove a black car. Every single time she sees a black car with black tints on the window, she freezes. People stop and stare, sometimes whisper under their breath, “Who is this psycho!?" and "What’s the matter with this girl!?” I had an Army buddy who, every time he heard the "pop!" of a water bottle being crushed under a tire, would either take cover or hit the deck. Again, people would stop, stare, and whisper nonsense under their breath. My Marine friend cannot stand the Fourth of July because of the sound of fireworks going off by his Manhattan apartment.

When it comes to the mentally ill, it takes some serious training, and some serious patience to get through to someone who might be having a personal crisis.

Now, you can agree, disagree, or choose to feel indifferent about my next statement, but based on those who I have lost to suicide, I see a link between suicide and mental health. The link I see between suicide and mental health is that the ones I know who have committed suicide suffered in silence. Suffering in silence, in the sense that they do not want to burden anyone they know, love or care for, with their problems. Sometimes people won't discuss their own suffering because “they have problems of their own.” Or maybe they do not think that complaining or venting about their problems will help them in any way. I sometimes hear, “Therapy is turning out to a bitch and moan session. Nothing is being accomplished.” Now, do I think that ALL of those who attempt or commit suicide have a mental disorder? NO. Words like always and never, do not exist when it comes to humans. It all depends on various factors such as genetics, stress levels, chemical imbalances etc.

I see suicide as the following: there is an individual who is trapped in a maze, and he/she cannot see the way out it. No matter how many times they have tried turning left or right, no matter how many times they have tried to climb out of the maze, they are trapped with no way to escape. On top of all of that, at each corner they turn, there is a monster they must fight off. A monster which they might not be able to fight due to a lack of resources, fear, or other factors. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Whoever said that could not be more correct, but someone who does not see their problem as temporary will never find the rationality behind those words.

With those I know who have committed suicide, there were no tell-tale signs. There were no talks about leaving this world. There were no goodbyes or leaving behind valuables. Some say suicide does not have a rhyme nor a reason. I think that because of those who suffer in silence, being kind and spreading love is essential. Why? Because I care whether a mother can have her son at her holiday table with an old cheese smile. Because I care whether a sister can visit her brother and enjoy quality time together. I care because what if that was my family member?

After having read "A Man’s Search For Meaning" by Victor Frankl, this is the conclusion I have made when it comes to stressful conditions (to say the least) and suicide. People who have not found meaning in their lives are incapable of persevering hardships. What is there to fight for, when you have nothing to live for? Therefore, too many people out there have not found meaning in their lives. They feel like they have no purpose for living, and if that is not disheartening then I do not know what else is. The lucky ones are the ones who were born knowing what their purpose in life is. Some endure many long hard years before they find out--if they find out at all.

Now, if you have read "A Man’s Search For Meaning", you will know that the book is filled with awesome quotes, here is one of my top five favorites: “For the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth - that Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.” – Vicktor Frankl

In the words of Notorious B.I.G., “Spread love … it’s the Brooklyn way.”

Love. Smile. Live.

RR