One of the worst things you can hear in a relationship is the term 'long distance.'
When I was about to leave for my freshman year of college back in August, my boyfriend and I had to have that talk. For the past 10 months our relationship was perfect, and while we had some precautions, we had a relatively optimistic outlook on going long distance. The college I fell in love with was Flagler College down in Saint Augustine, Florida; while my boyfriend was to stay in Philadelphia.
Leaving home was not easy, and I felt lost without my best friend by my side. When a couple thinks about long distance, it often includes a lot of FaceTime dates, phone calls, texts, maybe even letters... But that is not always the case.
In the beginning, we were very lost, trying to make new friends without that one person who already knows everything about you. From this loneliness comes a sort of independence. I had to learn to be OK doing things by myself when my friends were busy and I couldn't simply call up my boyfriend.
Long distance does place a lot of stress on a relationship. We were both extremely busy and it was hard to find the time to FaceTime, especially without roommates or friends around. We did our best to text every day, but our schedules often conflicted. It was not as easy as I originally thought to find times to talk. When we did find some time to FaceTime, it just made me miss him more. I could see him but I could not do something as simple as hug him.
It is extremely difficult to not have any physical affection. I could not hug or kiss my boyfriend! It was very hard to go months at a time without a kiss. When we were together, a kiss was hardly even important, yet when we were apart there was nothing I wanted more. I kept countdowns until I would be home to see him.
It was also really hard to find things to talk about because I did not know his friends and he did not know mine. I could mention I went out to lunch with friends and he would have no idea what restaurant I went to or who I went with. I also had no idea who his friends were. We had never met each other's friends. It was very hard to tell each other about what was going on in our lives at school.
In reality, long distance is very hard, sometimes you don't feel secure in your relationship, but it will be OK. If you trust your significant other and focus on the times that you'll be together instead of apart it goes by a lot faster. Also, don't forget to focus on yourself, being apart provides a great opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and spend some time figuring out who you are. That is a good thing. If you want to tackle long distance go ahead, but there is a slightly harsher reality that comes with it.
Just love the one you're with and you will be OK.
