The minute you are born, your parents' lives change. Everything is going smoothly, but then one parent works and the other takes care of you. For some, they just start drifting, arguing, or they lose interest in each other for some reason. After, they agree to separate and then get a divorce. As you grow, you never figure out what went on, and sometimes you come to think it is your fault.
1. Back then to the modern days.
Back then it was rare for parents to get a divorce and people would talk if they knew. Nowadays, it is common for parents to be divorced. It is now rare to hear if someone's parents are together. I don't know if this is good or bad.
2. You still think there is hope.
I thought, "Maybe they will see each other and fall in love again." I used to cross my fingers hoping that one day they would bump into each other and just see that their lives are not the same without each other.
3. Tug of war.
At first, things are hectic. It depends on whether the other parents want you in their lives or not, but when they both want you in their lives, it is hard settling in at one home. You feel like you are going to go crazy, (well, it depends what age you are/were). It just starts to feel like you are a toy.
4. The realization.
At a young age, you notice that you switch houses and have no idea what is going on. When you finally reach the point where you understand that your parents are not going to work out and that eventually you will have to decide, you break.
5. The acceptance.
Switching houses throughout the week starts becoming a routine, and when it is the less liked parent's house turn, you start to feel bummed out. But oh well, right?
6. You finally burst.
As you start getting older, you get tired of doing this and just want to settle in for once, but you are afraid to speak out because either one or both parents do not understand.
7. You start to realize that you are attached to one parent the most while the other tries to redeem themselves.
This may not be for everyone, but you realize that one parent is your best friend and the other one is just a stranger whose blood you have running through your veins. You just don't feel a connection with them. So that parent later on tries to redeem themselves by "being there for you."
8. Years later you tend to grow up with anxiety and/or depression.
All of the chaos you went through just kept building up inside of you and mostly everyone is a kid when going through a divorce, so it is hard to speak and say what they feel. You feel lost years later and may go through a period of time where you just feel scared, sad, or jumpy. It may be long-term or just short, depending on whether getting help or not; you realize that you have been through a lot. Notice how strong you have been throughout all these years because divorce is not easy.
9. The after party.
You realize that maybe having divorced parents is not so bad, because they do not even realize what you are doing. You have more freedom than kids with strict parents! Even though it was darkness before, there are still perks!
10. You may get spoiled.
Depending on the situation, both families may love you and they sometimes want you to feel like they love you more than the other. When your birthday or Christmas are around the corner, you get excited because you know the moola or presents are coming!
11. Suck it up.
Lastly, you realize that sometimes things do not work out between couples, but it does not mean it is your fault. You just realize that things are better with them being apart, instead of hearing all the yelling.
At the end, they know what is best and if one of them leaves your life, just know that it is not your fault and you are good enough for everything and anyone. Be thankful that you have parents or a parent! Be thankful that you aren't on the streets, or waiting for someone to adopt you. Suck it up. At the end, this shapes your life and sometimes helps you mature into the person you are not. Thank your parent/parents for everything they do, because they love you and want the best for you!
