Struggling with depression and anxiety for over four years now, I've always found refuge in the writing of online strangers; in quotes, poems, and simple acknowledgements that I might actually have a mental illness. In our society, there's this huge stigma surrounding mental illness. People make so many uneducated assumptions about those with depression or anxiety. Before I'd even admitted to myself that I might suffer from depression, I always heard the negative connotations people placed on depression. This made talking about the issue ten times harder.
I've always wanted to try to make a difference in the lives of others, big or small. Maybe this article will reach one person and help them. That means that it's worth it.
I'd also like to point out a few of the basic assumptions people make, and why they're wrong. Please consider the things you say before you say something. You never know who hears these things and how they perceive them. The words of others kept me from speaking up for three years. For three years, I was unhappy and numb to what life was supposed to be like. It was unfair and I don't think anyone deserves to go through that experience.
People assume that in order to be depressed, you have to have pitch black hair, pale skin, and dark makeup and clothes. You have to listen to sad music and you never leave your room.
That's not the truth. These things aren't directly related. In the same way, just because a lot of people with red hair may love horror movies, does this mean all redheads love horror movies? No.
The clothes you wear don't dictate what goes on inside your body. Just like your heart might develop incorrectly or your cells might multiply damaged cells and cause cancer, the chemicals in your brain can become off kilter.
And it has nothing to do with you as a human being. You are not being punished. You are not less than anyone else.
Something that always struck me as odd was when people would say "But you don't look depressed," whether it be because of my blonde hair or my convincing smile, no one ever wanted to believe that I could be fighting a battle against myself. Someone with brown hair may dye their hair blonde. They may not look like a brunette, but naturally, they are. People are able to cover things up. That doesn't mean these things stopped existing.
Further, people are always so quick to believe that if you have a physical ailment, it must be real, but the second that someone says they have a mental illness, you hear others say, "You've just had a bad day," or "Get over it! You're being selfish."
If someone comes to you and tells you that they want to take their own life, don't respond with these things. Listen to them and help them. Show them a way toward the life that they want and they deserve.
Don't make them feel crazy for something that isn't their fault.
And for those suffering with anxiety, don't tell them to "just calm down." I can't count the times I have been told this. What some people can't understand is that we know how irrational these fears are. We realize they make no sense, and we hate it. We wish we could just "chill out," but we can't. We don't enjoy feeling terrified and on edge. We don't enjoy feeling sick to our stomach or our hearts slamming in our chests.
And for those dealing with these things daily, don't be ashamed. You are not less of a person for dealing with these things. You are a person who is suffering, nothing less. You aren't just a student on campus or an employee at work. You are not just a family member or a friend. You are more, you are part of something bigger than yourself, and you deserve the chance to experience everything that life has to offer.
