Future Husband Must Be:

1. 6'4.

2. Ocean blue eyes.

3. Great with kids.

4. Humble and Confident.

5. Leader.

6. Loves Christ more than he loves me.

7. Adventurous

These are just a few things that many of us girls would consider putting on our "list." You know, the one that your Sunday school teacher made you write while learning about relationships? The small list I used as an example is quite dramatic, but I hope it will relay my point. We tend to hope for this perfect "knight in shining armor" type figure, which is unfair to the person we are holding the standards to.

Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with having a list of certain qualities that you'd like your future spouse to have. I have that list. But the list that I am not a fan of is the one where we build this man into the perfect man, and not the perfect man for us. One where we list, in detail, all the physical attributes he must have in order for us to marry him. On top of that we add that he must be always kind, always slow to anger, always financially stable, always etc. Then we so often relentlessly pray to the Lord to send us this fairytale husband, but "Your will be done, Lord," right? How wrong of us is this practice? We hope and pray for a perfect man all while telling God that we want what he wants. If we really wanted what He wants, we wouldn't have a preset in our heads of what he should look like if we are going to marry him.

I believe the things that would be wise to be on a "list" would be the traits mentioned in 1 Corinthians 13:4-6. Instead of reading the word, "love" in these passages, fill in that boy's name, or just "he." He is patient and kind. He does not envy or boast. He is not arrogant or rude. He does not insist on his own way. He is not irritable or resentful. He does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

After this, I believe we should hold ourselves to the same standard. Why would we plan out a list of attributes that we would want in a man, but not also work on developing these things in ourselves as well? So before you hold any boy to 1 Corinthians 13, replace the word "love" with your name. I am patient and kind. I do not envy or boast. I am not arrogant or rude. I do not insist on my own way. I am not irritable or resentful. I do not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoice with the truth.

I hope this doesn't make it seem like I am saying that one can't hope for certain things. I know for a fact that there are some things I'd like a boyfriend or husband to like doing. But I certainly will not hold "him" to the girly hopes of my heart, but I will hold him to the standards I believe Christ has set before me. So even though it'd be nice if my one day husband wrote me letters and loved long car rides, photography, and macaroni and cheese as much as I do, it's okay if he doesn't.

"He said: What are you looking for in a man?
She said: God."