When I turned twelve, I developed my first crush. It was on a guy named Zac Efron, and the moment I looked in his eyes as he sang the "Start of Something Knew," I knew he was one attractive man. His shaggy brown hair, biceps, blue eyes, and voice captured my attention and heart. I thought he was attractive.
Starting in high school, I began to call any guy wearing a sport's uniform attractive. If he played basketball and had brown eyes, I was sold. If he was on the football team, done deal.
And in college, suddenly the attractive guy became the dadbod, overly confident frat boy, who drives a nice car. Still don't understand why this is even a thing. However, I knew he could be the one if he wore top-tier letters and was outgoing.
I had a realization the other day that maybe I was wrong. My whole life I have been allowing myself to admire men for their looks and worldly possessions. I have forgotten what makes a man actually attractive. Why do I and other girls allow ourselves to admire guys who are by no means attractive?
See, my heart knows what an attractive guy actually looks like. He's the guy who smiles lots, loves hard, tips the waiter well, and prays before his meal. Simply by being in the presence of an actual attractive guy makes everyone feel the love of Christ. He's attractive if he makes you belly-laugh and dance with no music — all while challenging you to grow daily into the person the Creator intended for you to be.
See, an attractive guy doesn't necessarily have Hollywood fame, a football jersey, or a fraternity label. He may not have a six-pack of abs and perfectly tanned skin. Forget the blue eyes, and search for something more in a guy than a big ego and a ten on the "hot scale."
At the end of the day, at least in my opinion, the guy I fall in love with needs to look like Jesus. What I want to see looking back at me on my wedding day is a guy whose arms are always reach out to help others, not necessarily the ones always lifting at the gym. His legs will go where the Lord tells him to go — they may not always be perfectly toned. His eyes look for the good in others and not on things of the world. His heart should be compassionate and loving to all people, not just me. And his mouth should speak kind words and life into everyone he encounters, never used for destruction. He should admire my desire for purity, and seek it himself as well till marriage. He should push me closer to Christ, instead of coming in between God and me.
The guy who I fall in love with should have an obvious bursting love for the Creator, so that all those who know him also know their Savior. He is the same guy Friday night as he is in the church pew on Sunday. He makes you cry only tears of joy. And when he messes up, he admits it, and asks for grace.
To the struggling Christian guy out there who looks like Jesus: I'm sorry. I'm sorry you feel overlooked and unwanted and that "nice guys finish last." But I promise girls will feel stupid for letting the nice guy get overlooked. She will regret it. You will find a girl who seeks Christ as much as you, and I challenge you to wait for what you deserve. Thank you for following Christ's lead.
To the girl who falls for the only physically attractive guys and the guys with worldly possessions: you will realize soon that looks fade. One day the only thing left in your significant other will be his heart, eyes, and personality. If he can't make you smile, laugh, and challenge you to be a better person, then I promise you won't be happy for a lifetime.
You are worth more than the guy who can get three hundred likes on shirtless pictures, but can't seem to ever appreciate you. You deserve someone who looks like Jesus, walks like Him, and encourages you throughout your lifetime. Wait for that kind of guy dear one — and never settle. A guy with an attractive heart is not out of your league. He is waiting for you, but the real question is, are you waiting for him?
