"I need a man who..." I am guilty of having said this phrase along with some expectations of what I want from a future relationship with a guy. It's something I used to think when I was younger, and TV shows and movies about people in high school were my main source of entertainment. I would think about the physical attributes of my real life Prince Charming, and the way his voice would sound while he confessed his undying love for me. He'd be perfect. And his whole world would revolve around me.
Growing up, and a week away from becoming a 20-year-old, I realize how unreal these expectations were. I begin to meet men who aren't physically perfect (in terms of society's norms of beautiful) yet they have hearts of gold, and a way of making one girl feel like the only girl in the world. I've met boys who looked so much like the boy I used to imagine as my Prince Charming, and who had so many issues, it was pretty impossible for them to be near perfect at all. I've met boys who are gorgeous, funny, charismatic, smart, and creative, and I've also met gorgeous boys who are the most boring and annoying beings on the planet. My taste in guys has changed so much, just like I have changed during all these years. But there's something important about all of this.
My expectations are real, now. I don't expect a boy to always agree with me. I don't expect a boy to always be on the watch about my necessities. I want a relationship of two, in which both are equally responsible for the relationship's success. I want something real, not straight out of a movie. I want us both to be free to be whoever we want to be, to support each other, to respect, and love each other's quirks and flaws.
So, dear future boyfriend: If you ever come across posts I've shared or written about regarding how I expect you to behave, or what you should be like -- ignore them. Don't push yourself to be somebody you are not. If I have chosen to be with you, it's because I have learned to love you just the way you are.