The Presidential Canidates Reimagined As Your Family Members | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

The Presidential Canidates Reimagined As Your Family Members

Meet Uncle Trump.

15
The Presidential Canidates Reimagined As Your Family Members
Newsweek

As the 2016 Presidential election grows closer I thought it would be fun to reimagine the Presidential Candidates as our wacky family members. Most of us are unsure of who to vote for, so maybe this will help you make your decision.

Let's start with the GOP candidates:

Donald Trump

Imagine Trump as your crazy racist uncle. Trump is the family embarrassment. No one really likes to talk about him but since he's family he still shows up to all the family events much to everyone's dismay. He's extremely loud and complains about Mexicans taking American jobs even though he hasn't had a stable job in decades and hasn't put any effort into finding one.

During the family reunion, he joined the kids' potato sack race and beat all the kids. Everyone told him he should have let three-year-old Sally win, but he doesn't like to lose. He's also always flaunting money around. Your parents suspect it's from drug dealing. He's quite popular with your elders and you're not quite sure why.

Ted Cruz

Ted just married your very religious aunt. They met at a Bible study and are inseparable. He's always preaching about God and how you'll probably be damned to hell if you don't stop drinking soda. No one really likes him or invites him anywhere, but somehow he just seems to show up.

He and Uncle Trump are always fighting with Ted claiming Trump doesn't know anything about the Bible. Trump doesn't really care what he says and throws dollar bills in his face and tells him to go back to his home country. Ted is upset but picks up the money and mopes for the rest of the night.

Marco Rubio

There's a rumor going around that cousin Marco might actually be a robot. His responses are stale and always seem rehearsed. There's also another rumor going on that Trump started the rumor. Trump believes that Mexico created this Marco robot with the intent of destroying America.

Since Ted has no friends, he always tries to speak Spanish with Marco, but it doesn't end well because Ted can't speak Spanish. Marco is always trying to force himself on the family, and they just kind of have to deal with it. They don't want to go through the process of explaining to him that he is actually a fourth cousin twice removed.

John Kasich

John and your grandma just got divorced, but somehow he keeps showing up at all the events. Your mom told you to be nice to him only because it's been a rough year for John. He's always wearing itchy sweaters and telling you to make sure you uphold the values of the family and how Trump will lead to its destruction.

Trump doesn't really see him as a threat and ignores him whenever he walks into a room. John tries to pretend like it doesn't bother him, but it does.

Ben Carson

Ben used to be the family favorite until Trump came along and pointed out that he's black. Since then Uncle Ben is always sleeping and muttering things that don't make sense. Your parents don't really pay attention to him; well actually, no one pays attention to him. The entire family has learned to tune him out and is still surprised that he's still hanging around. At the last family reunion, Trump stepped on him on his way to the potato salad, but one noticed, not even Ben.

Now onto the Democratic candidates:

Hillary Clinton

Aunt Hillary just recently divorced her rich husband and inherited all his money. You don't really like her that much, but she's always trying to get people to like her so she bribes you with gifts. Last year she thought motorcycles were dangerous, but last week she just promised to buy you a Harley if you can get your younger cousins to love her again.

She was accused of being an old hag by her husband, so she's constantly hanging around the young kids trying to be hip. The other day she gave you $100 to teach her how to whip and nae nae. The women in the family support her and will accuse you of being sexist if you don't let her hang out with you and your friends.

Bernie Sanders

Bernie is your favorite grandpa. Everyone thinks he's a little weird with his constant obsession with taking down the establishment. Everyone's a little uncomfortable when he demands that billionaires stop controlling our economy.

Your parents want you to stay a safe distance from him, but all the kids love him. Hillary can't seem to understand why they prefer an old grumpy man to her young, vibrant personality. His ideas always seem a little out of reach, but you can always count on him to have candy and baked goods.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

800598
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

706539
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

The Importance Of Being A Good Person

An open letter to the good-hearted people.

1012878
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments