I started taking pictures at 9:45 a.m. and didn't see a black person until about 2:30 p.m.

I noticed the homogeneity of the crowd in the morning when all of the golf carts were lined up and teams were slowly forming. I knew that I had better keep my queer under wraps because if there is one form of segregation, there is always more. And where there is segregation, there are oppressive and offensive acts to keep it that way.

Yes, there is more than one kind of segregation.

Most people are familiar with racial segregation. Often times, the term "Segregation" is used to refer to racial divides. But there is also age segregation, which is when people are only ever with others that are their age — think American public education system. There is gender segregation — think public restrooms. There is spatial segregation where all other forms of segregation are lived out. The list goes on.

I'm not sure there is a good word for the segregation of MOGAI people from society, but that's the kind I'm talking about.

Let me recap so I'm sure you're with me: nearly everyone at this golf outing was white, middle to late aged, and designated male at birth. And where there is one segregating factor (like race), there are more (like age and designated sex). And where there are many overt (visible) signs of segregation, there are many covert (implied) segregating factors. So, I'm willing to bet a bag of gummy bears that each of these people in the majority group that I have already mentioned were also straight and cis gender.

Just because someone is different from me does not mean that I have to be afraid of them. It does not mean that I have to hide my differences. But I knew to choose my words wisely.

Examples of why I know I chose correctly:

Every time someone asked my name, I said, "I'm Ken."

To which they replied, "What? Ken?"

"Yes, Ken."

One group member to the other three, "She's going to take our photo."

One group member to another, "Don't be a faggot."

Husband, "You're all wet."

Wife, "Yes, I am wet."

Husband, "That's what she said."

Bill, "What? Yes, I'm sure that I am Bill."

Another group member to me, "He's never questioned his identity. But we've questioned it."

One group member to the other three, "Come on, you homos."

One group member to another, "Buy me a drink, you fag."

One group member to another, "She caught you holding my hand on camera. Don't be so fucking gay."

Need I continue?

These people were not familiar with the concept that names have no inherent gender. Yet, everyone internally questioned my gender when I introduced myself.

Do I really look a "she" to you? Does my voice, which you have to realize I'm attempting to lower as you mocked me when I turned my back, really tell you everything you need to know to make the assumption that I use she/her pronouns? I was not allowed to be a they. Likely because of their ignorance on the subject.

A faggot is a bundle of sticks used as kindling. Queer people were burned at the stake — not as main subjects of display, but as fire-starters. Do not call anyone a faggot. Ever. These people all assumed that I am I girl, though I am nonbinary and masculine presenting. I did not mention my girlfriend, even when the opportunity arose in conversation. I did not want to give the people who used this word fuel.

"The resurfacing of the “That What She Said” punch line... serves as a perfect example of how women are objectified, especially in Western society." Click here to read the full article. If this person jokingly oppressed women, I don't think they'd be very affirming of my gender and attraction orientations.

Are you really making a joke about a person's identity?

Being homosexual is not an insult, stop using it like it is.

See paragraph beginning in "A faggot is a bundle of sticks" again.

Being gay is not an insult, stop using it like it is.

These are just a small handful of exchanges I witnessed between white, middle-aged men. It was not all of them. But enough of them that I filtered myself. (If you follow my articles, by now you're probably realizing this is just a less bitter way of discussing marginalization as I have described it in the past.)

These are simple, everyday occurrences that are not meant to be malicious or to harm anyone. But we cannot deny that these were examples of othering. Othering is when one group does and says things to make their in-group tighter and the out-group larger, as explained here. That's how the patriarchy has pushed its way to the top of the power pyramid. Comments like the ones mentioned above are ways to shove other people down the pyramid while pushing yourself up to the smallest, highest, exclusive point.

These words can be heard anywhere, not just at the golf outing that I photographed. These verbal tactics are not exclusive to people that were golfing. I am not trying to attack anyone. This small sample of people are representative of American society as a whole. And that's the problem I'm poking at.

Othering does hurt other people. But segregation with the goal of gaining power (within friend-groups, work-groups, etc.) is so ingrained in our culture that we don' blink when we are reminded of "our place."

Maybe I got too much at the golf outing. (The sunburn I have would suggest that.) Maybe I had too much time to myself, waiting for the next group of golfers to drive up to hole ten. Maybe I'm jaded and bitter. But my observations today were objective and my commentary here is honest.

Please be mindful of your words. Or at least scream "fore" when you're about to kick them down a peg.