Have you ever looked at a photograph of yourself really closely, just sitting there taking in how many different people's moments you’ve captured in a split second? How many people’s lives you’ve gotten a small view into? You look at their faces and maybe wonder about them.
If not, I don't really blame you. I didn’t do this until recently when the photo itself told me to look at them. I wish it hadn’t because lately things have not been making very much sense around me. I can’t sleep or eat without the constant feeling of being watched. It feels as though someone is breathing down my neck at all times, but there is no one there and no reason for someone to want to make me so uncomfortable. Maybe that’s the worst part; the unknown. Why? Who would want me to feel so anxious at all times? Well.. maybe I should start from the beginning to give a clearer image.
It started last Saturday morning, April 16, 2006. I was coming home from school that day and I knew something felt really off but I assumed that it was probably my anxiety getting the best of me again. After all, senior year of high school is an especially stressful year of high school. It is known by everyone that it is the biggest year that colleges look and dear lord, do I need to get out of this town. Anyway, I’m getting off topic here. Something was seriously wrong and I felt it all that day. As I walked along the sidewalks parallel to the store fronts that I passed on my daily route home, there was a seemingly distressed woman running up to people. She looked absolutely cluttered and distraught. Everyone was giving her weird looks when she spoke to them and I began to wonder what she is telling everyone. Typical, it’s the end of the world spiel maybe? That’s when she came up to me and became more agitated than before.
“You’re the one! You’re the reason for this!”, She screamed numerous times, “Why did they do this, Saphira?” She looked around and saw that security was making its way up to us. She let out a long and depressing sigh before turning to me with tears in her eyes. “Ask them. Ask them why? Please tell them that I’m not ready yet, Saphira!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about lady, and how do you know my name? If this is some joke, I swear..” At that moment, the lady took off into one of the side alleys on the street and I prayed to myself that I would never see this woman again in my life. I could only hope.
After that, I continued my walk home. Of course I was a little shaken up, but more than that, I was confused. I lived in New York so I have had my share of crazy people but none of them knew me by name. That was the eerie part of the whole thing.
I decided that I needed to calm myself down with some tea and music. I sat in my favorite chair that was placed gracefully next to a side table which held a bunch of the photographs I had taken that month. I decided to look through them to see how my skill was improving. I had been taking so many classes anyway. I flipped through the pictures and, oh my, they were beautiful, but one stuck out to me a lot.
I picked up the picture and looked a little closer at it, but I couldn’t put a finger on what was entirely different. Just a picture of a typical crowd of people making their way down the busy streets of NYC. I personally liked taking pictures of crowds in the city. I felt it describe the rustle and bustle of the city in the most accurate way. I decided to put the picture down, still feeling very uneasy about it all and I turned on the TV.
Channel, after channel, after channel, finally landing on something that had caught my eye; the news. This was weird to me because normally the news isn’t my type of thing to watch, but something was driving me to keep the channel on, so I guess I listened to it. I really wish I hadn’t. On the screen, before my eyes, was the woman that I had just spoken to in the streets less than a half hour ago. However, this time she was not as anxious. She couldn’t be. They found this woman on the cement in front of a tall building. They say she jumped from the sixth story of the building. The news reported that they are further investigating the incident but it would most likely be ruled a suicide.
Something did not seem right about this case. This woman was running from something earlier and scared for her life. She wouldn’t just jump from a sixth story window right after, would she? As these thoughts were racing through my head, the picture from earlier seemingly blew off the table from the breeze through the cracked window. However, when I picked it up this time, I could see that something was strange. I hadn’t noticed it before. This time I saw there was an X scratched through a woman in the crowds face. As I looked closer, I noticed that it was that same woman again. In this photo, the woman was staring right at the camera, and she looked infuriated..
To be continued next week...
