Do we really know what or who has the perfectly fit body? Can fat be fit? Can fat also be perfect? According to the body positive movement, these questions are very important. We are working on changing common ideas about the answers to these questions. Fat-positivity is a form of feminism that merges with fat activism, body positivity and specifically addresses how misogyny and sexism intersect with sizeism and anti-fat bias.

I’ve spent a lot of time in my life worrying and wondering about how other perceive me. As a plus sized person, this is a struggle that I deal with daily. I’ve spent my time the past few months spreading the word to my friends and peers around my Purchase community regarding my own body positivity and how I achieved it. One of my friends, Sodasia Thompson, told me just the other day that I inspired her to be more confident in herself. However, I haven’t always been this way. I haven’t always loved my body. And I certainly haven’t always wore crop tops with no regard to what people think of me. Although I’m confident in myself, I still get upset shopping for clothes due to my size. I’ve come to accept it.

Culturally, the body positivity movement started getting more and more popular within the last few years. With new ways to change your bodies from surgery to Photoshop, more and more people are spreading the message on loving your body. The Movement itself very selective. The people who are included in it are usually a certain body type, either very fit and skinny or curvy. (I’ve written about the ‘acceptable thick before this article as well).

Although I’m not knocking down people who look like this, I personally do not think it’s inclusive of everyone. It’s certainly not gender inclusive. When researching a bit for this article, I found that the writer always talks about women. They always say that young women have body issues or young women are being exploited when in reality, although that’s true, women aren’t the only people affected. We often forget the struggle to become body positive. We don’t like to talk about the eating disorders, the body dysmorphia or even the struggle that transgender people and non binary people go through accepting the body that they have.

The other side of body positivity that no one talks about is getting to the point where you are proud of your body, where you’re proud of some of your body, or if you have good and bad days. The bad days aren’t talked about because people usually think that body positivity is always a positive thing, which it can be, but most of the time it takes months and even years to love even some parts of yourself.

Sometimes we don’t identify with some of the people in the movement. I personally haven’t really found my home, however, my ultimate goal is to create a safe space for everyone struggling with accepting themselves. I hope that I can spread some kind of message on positive self-regard and love.

With this idea, I turned to my community, friends, peer and even family. This is what they had to say about it; (Trigger warnings include: eating disorders, gay bashing, self-harm, self-hate. These quotes are genuine from the people who so kindly shared with me their struggle. I hope whoever reads this article finds any kind of way to relate to what these amazing and inspirational souls had to say. I apologize to anyone I decided not to use. Just know that your words will be used in an upcoming project of mine).

“Well I struggle with self image because I feel that as a gay guy I'm not worth anything in the gay community since I'm neither tall nor white nor skinny. I also tend to distance myself from the whole dichotomy of being masculine or feminine (a femme). So I struggle from neither fitting nor wanting to fit societal molds in the gay community.”- Alfonso Reyes, a freshman at SUNY Purchase.

“I feel like being a trans person always makes body positivity hard, especially when we're dysphoric. And I've definitely had problems in the ways that I've dealt with dysphoria in the past. I'm in the process of recovering from anorexia. Basically I wouldn't eat so I could get my chest to go away, but I entirely suppressed my appetite because of how long I would go without eating. So when I was 16 I weighed about 84 pounds when I was supposed to be a minimum of about 120. I'm 18 now and while I eat a bit more I'm still like 15 pounds underweight.

For me eating has gotten easier since becoming vegan, it's totally changed my relationship with food. But in terms of just body positivity I've gotten into abstract drag. So whenever there's a drag show at school I basically just wear some sort of non-gender affiliated costume. Like last time I went shirtless and just covered myself in fake plants and glitter. Making my body into a sort of art project helps get rid of some of the dysphoria I've had associated with it.” -Zero Tener, a freshman at SUNY Purchase.

“Well for me, being body positive is HARD. Everyday's a new class about acceptance and love, and sometimes it's not a fun or easy lesson to learn. I'm always someone who wants to do better, and be better, and therefore I don't think I'm ever going to love the way I look 100% of the time, because in my head there will always be something that needs to be improved on. I will say that I'm in a much better place than I once was as far as loving every inch of myself, and I think it's because I spend less time looking at a scale or a number, and more time around those people who challenge me, encourage me, and lift me up. I spent so much of middle school and high school hating myself because of the way I looked, going to nutritionists and trying diets that made me hate myself even more because of my instincts of wanting to be better, and never seeing the better results I was aiming for.

I wasted so much time trying to shrink myself into anyway I could be smaller, quieting my voice, and shredding my self confidence. I denied myself opportunities because I told myself I wasn't "pretty" enough, or "skinny" enough to deserve them. Confidence didn't come quick, and like I said earlier, it's not always here, but now I take opportunities because of what I know I'm capable of, not what I look like. I now hold a leadership position where in May, I'll be on a stage in front of 1500 people, and I'm confident that my words will make an impact. For now, I look at it this way: I have the opportunity to experience so many awesome adventures in this crazy thing called life. I get to learn new things, meet incredible people, and go to beautiful places. One day I hope to have a family, have children, and be happy with what I'm doing in life and it's my body that takes me on these journeys. It's my beautiful body that harnesses my mind, my memories, every taste touch, sight, sound and smell, and without it I wouldn't be able to live as my greatest self.” -A very close friend of mine who wishes to remain anonymous.

“Okay, so, I have a lot of issues with body image and body positivity. I've been cutting since I was 9 years old and I'm now 16 and still struggle everyday whether to self harm or not. From self harm I have scars all over my arm and leg with words in my leg like "fat" and "ugly." But lately I've learned to accept them. They are part of who I am. It's kinda like you're a canvas and each scar or freckle or piece of cellulite it a new stroke on the canvas. I didn't always feel like that though. For years I just felt overweight and disgusted by myself. I have cellulite on my inner thighs, and wouldn't wear shorts for about 2 years.

I always wore makeup ‘cause I just didn't feel pretty enough. Since I was 9 I've been looking at those models that are 5"10 weighing 105 pounds. I always wanted to be like that ya know? It's hard, body positivity. I think it's something I'm going to struggle with every day of my life. But I need to realize that I am beautiful and my size does not define me. If I ever have a daughter I wouldn't want her to hate herself the way I hated myself.” -Lex Defreese, a student from Warwick Valley High School & also a close friend of mine.

“Growing up in a body that never seemed to be the "right" kind of thin or the "right" kind of curvy has always left me feeling isolated in my embodied experience. I never saw bodies that looked like mine in the media, I always had friends that were thin or at least thinner than me, and I constantly struggled with the heartbreaking act of comparison. My body is not fat, but my body is not thin. I'm extremely petite, my thighs are large but my calves are thin & toned, my boobs are large and asymmetrical, my butt it tiny and compact, and my stomach is round and I have rolls when I sit down and on my back. I have stretchmarks on my stomach, hips, and boobs. I breakout on my back and I have never had clear skin. I'm hairy. I'm all of these things, but I'm also beautiful. I am so fucking beautiful.

My smile is bright and inviting. My eyes glisten and look like a lake when the sun hits it. My hair is golden red and curly and it flows down to the nape of my back. My speaking voice is loud, clear and eloquent. I am magnetic. I am brilliant. I am empathic and understanding and always growing. I look like a sunflower and I light up any room I walk into. I have so much beauty inside of me and I don't think I've even begun to access all of it. I still find myself in the same patterns of comparison some days.

I still feel terribly inadequate and unlovable some days, but that doesn't mean I don't love myself. I still feel upset with myself if I eat too much or if I don't eat "right" (whatever the fuck that means...health is a social construction..anyways) and I still feel so much shame about my body. I still want to hide when the weather gets warm because that means I have to be visible. I still spend hours going through my clothes before leaving the house because none of it makes me feel beautiful. I still struggle with loving myself without makeup on. But something I've learned as a result of body positivity and radical self-love, is that loving myself is NOT a destination. It is a practice, it is a spirituality, and it is a journey.

Self-love happens every day, and it could mean something different one day than it does the next. Self-love is not easy, it is actually so difficult and sometimes annoying as hell, but it is so worth it and I would not want it any other way. My body is valid, my body is perfect, my body is amazing because it simply exists. There is no wrong way to have a body, and although I am still growing (we all are), I have already made so much progress. I love myself more than anyone else in this world and that's how I like it.” -Rachel Burwell, who I believe is an inspiration to us all struggling with body positivity, a student at SUNY Purchase