I'll turn twenty-two in the spring, but I'm not graduating college this year, getting a ring on my finger, tying the knot, or beginning my dream job after finishing my degree. After walking across the stage at graduation, I had all four years of college mapped out. I would keep my grades up, get a part-time job to help pay expenses, get a summer internship, go through counseling training and get certified, then graduate college and start working as a counselor.
I wasn't prepared for the number of changes that have happened in the past few years. I struggled with a few classes and didn't get the perfect grade I wanted. Towards the beginning of freshman year, I started experiencing stomach issues, found out I had IBS and have continued to experience symptoms. Because of my health and finances, I got behind in school and had to take two semesters off. I got a tutoring and nannying job that wasn't what I would've chosen for myself, but it was exactly what I needed.
I ended up transferring from the school I thought I'd graduate from to a school I had never even heard of. I got rejected for the summer internship the first summer I applied but ended up getting accepted for this summer instead. I've encountered several obstacles with my counseling training and degree, but I'm still working towards it.
I don't have a ring on my finger or a special date on the calendar, but I'm grateful because it would most likely be the wrong time and person right now. Being in a season of friendship, growth, and transition is valuable. I wouldn't trade it for my original plan because I wouldn't be who I am today.
You don't have to be dating at 19, engaged at 20, married at 21, a college graduate at 22, and be settled with your own family at 24.
Even if goals are realistic and a part of your plan doesn't mean they will happen or take place on your ideal timeline. Have goals, but leave some room for change. Have dreams and hopes, but don't hold too tightly to them.
I had a lot of my life mapped out, but as things haven't worked out like I thought they would, I realized I truly didn't know what was best. Even after the disappointment, I am glad things haven't worked out the way I once wanted them to. I wouldn't be adequately prepared for the future and would've missed out on on the detours along the way.
The detours on our journey aren't just a way to our destination, but a part of our destination.
If you've graduated high school, then people ask you where you're going to college. After you're in college, they ask if you've chosen your dream major and job yet. If you're friends with someone and getting to know them on a deeper level, they ask you when you're going to date. When you're dating, people ask if it's serious and when he's going to pop the question. Then questions turn into wedding dates, settling down, graduating college, and having children.
It doesn't stop there, it just keeps going. Well-intentioned questions have turned into rushing us from one good thing to the next big thing. If we engage in the trap of comparison and rush, we will find ourselves not being able to be at rest with where we are at. Not being present in the current moment will make us miss many opportunities and moments because we were so focused on what we didn't have.
It's okay to take life day by day, step by step, and season by season.
There is no date on the calendar that says you must be at a red dot on the map at this specific time. There is no deadline. There is no appointment.
As long as you are where you need to be, it's okay if people think you're crazy or if you're on a completely different page than everyone else you know. Life is full of expectations and detours, but it is what we make of it. Will we let turns in the road make us better or bitter and miserable?
Don't let people and their opinions determine your worth or happiness.
If you are hustling hard and are where God has you to be, that's enough. At the end of the day, you are in your here and now (not your best friend's) and are getting closer to where you need to be every day. Keep showing up and I'm certain you will get there!
