The Office: Best Cold Opens

The Office: Best Cold Opens

"Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica."
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NBC's "The Office" is arguably one of the best sitcoms that has ever been on television. The writing, characters, and comedy is all phenomenal, and many people have fallen in love with everything it has to offer. Many may also argue that the openings to each episode, called "cold opens," may be some of its finest pieces of work. I am a total "Office" nerd, so I have listed what I think are the best cold opens amongst all 9 Seasons.

After reading through the list, let me know if you agree with this placing. What are your favorite cold opens from this brilliant show?

1. Dwight's Fire

The famous fire drill cold open can be seen in Season 5, Episode 14 ("Stress Relief: Part 1"). It is crazy, chaotic, hilarious, and has to be the best opening to an episode that this show could create. It features Dwight creating a an extremely realistic fire drill (complete with smoke) that everyone in the office thinks is an actual fire. It creates a panic, revealing the characters' way of dealing with crises. It is without a doubt laugh-out-loud funny and truly shows the comedic quality of this amazing sitcom.

2. "Bears, beets, Battlestar Galatica"


This famous cold open aired in Season 3, Episode 21 ("Product Recall"). Perhaps one of the most recognizable interactions between Dwight and Jim that any fan or non-fan would note, this prank is incredibly iconic. Everything about this cold open is nearly perfect, with Jim's excellent characterization of Dwight. Also, don't miss the very end of this episode where Dwight switches it around on Jim; that may be one of the most underrated scenes of the show, as it is overshadowed by this respectably brilliant opening.

3. The Lip Dub

Also used as a promotional item for the then new Season 7, this cold open aired before Episode 1 ("Nepotism"). The Office has always been very good at interjecting relevance into their writing and lip dubs were then becoming a popular way for anyone to create content. So the members of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton had to get in on the action. This is the most different opening to the show that you will probably see and captures each character in their essence. This was also Steve Carrell's last season, so they probably figured they needed to start it off with a bang. And let me just say- this take was a good one.

4. The TV Cube


From Season 4, Episode 3 ("Launch Party"), this cold open is one of my personal favorites. It's simple and perfect comedic timing is relatable to nearly every person who has had the tense experience of watching a DVD logo float across a television screen. The audience and the office find relief as that little square finds its way perfectly into the corner. Celebration ensues, much to Michael's nonchalance. This cold open shows that simple comedy can be fantastic comedy.

5. Stanley is Oblivious


Stanley Hudson is featured in this elaborate mission in Season 7, Episode 6 ("Costume Contest"). I love that the whole office gets in on this one as they try everything they can think of to get Stanley's attention. It turns out that the only thing that catches this man's eye is being sure to leave the office on time. This great cold open always has me laughing out loud.

6. Asian Jim


Dwight's great confusion in this cold open appears in Season 9, Episode 3 ("Andy's Ancestry"). This one truly shows off Jim's near perfect pranking skills- he thought of everything! Even the audience gets a little bit confused when Pam leans in to kiss her "husband." The actor here is Randall Park, who even impressively nails a Jim glance to the camera.


7. Pavlov's Dwight

This nod to Pavlov's famous experiment is from Season 3, Episode 15 ("Phyllis' Wedding"). There has to have been a psychology fan in the writer's room because this is a near perfect example of classical conditioning while enveloped in comedic genius. This cold open is another iconic one which shows the brilliant chemistry between Jim and Dwight.


8. Jim Fakes A Murder

This cold open is from the later Season 8, Episode 15 ("Tallahassee") and seems to be somewhat lost on people's radar. Jim really goes all out for this prank on Dwight (and poor Erin) while they are working in Florida. He stages a murder in his hotel room as Dwight is performing the wake up call and times the dead corpse collapse from the closet in near perfection. This Jim prank deserves a real round of applause

9. Parkour


Dwight, Michael, and Andy's mediocre stunting from Season 6, Episode 1 ("Gossip") has become quite iconic indeed. My friends and I have found ourselves reenacting this slapstick cold open multiple times. Also, I wonder in how many other episodes of this show they actually had to use a stunt double?


10. Cheese Balls


This cheese ball cold open is featured in Season 5, Episode 24 ("Heavy Competition"). Michael Scott Paper Company has is new and very green, and you can say things are a little slow. But Michael, Pam, and Ryan, make the best of it, becoming quite impressively cheese ball-catching connoisseurs. I love this cold open because it is not only quirky and relatable but also reveals a bit of Novak, Carell, and Fischer's real personalities (and skills).

You can find a list of all cold opens here

Cover Image Credit: Jesse Richards

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved
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To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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15 Thing Only Early 2000's Kids Will Understand

"Get connected for free, with education connection"

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This is it early 2000's babies, a compilation finally made for you. This list is loaded with things that will make you swoon with nostalgia.

1. Not being accepted by the late 90's kids.

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Contrary to what one may think, late 90's and early 00's kids had the same childhood, but whenever a 00's kid says they remember something on an "only 90's kids will understand" post they are ridiculed.

2. Fortune tellers.

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Every day in elementary school you would whip one of these bad boys out of your desk, and proceed to tell all of your classmates what lifestyle they were going to live and who they were going to marry.

3.Bunnicula

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You could never read this book past 8 o'clock at night out of fear that your beloved pet rabbit would come after you.

4. Silly bands.

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You vividly remember begging your parents to buy you $10 worth of cheap rubber bands that vaguely resembles the shape of an everyday object.

5. Parachutes.

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The joy and excitement that washed over you whenever you saw the gym teacher pull out the huge rainbow parachute. The adrenaline that pumped through your veins whenever your gym teacher tells you the pull the chute under you and sit to make a huge "fort".

6. Putty Erasers

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You always bought one whenever there was a school store.

7. iPod shuffle.

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The smallest, least technological iPpd apple has made, made you the coolest kid at the bus stop.

8. "Education Connection"

You knew EVERY wood to the "Education Connection" commercials. Every. Single.Word.

9. " The Naked Brothers Band"

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The "Naked Brothers Band" had a short run on Nickelodeon and wrote some absolute bangers including, "Crazy Car' and "I Don't Wanna Go To School"

10. Dance Dance Revolution

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This one video game caused so many sibling, friend, and parent rivalries. This is also where you learned all of your super sick dance moves.

11. Tamagotchi

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Going to school with fear of your Tamagotchi dying while you were away was your biggest worry.

12. Gym Scooters

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You, or somebody you know most likely broke or jammed their finger on one of these bad boys, but it was worth it.

13. Scholastic book fairs

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Begging your parents for money to buy a new book, and then actually spending it on pens, pencils, erasers, and posters.

14.Go-Gurt

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Who knew that putting yogurt in a plastic tube made it taste so much better?

15. Slap Bracelets

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Your school probably banned these for being "too dangerous".

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