I keep seeing a lot of articles that cry out against the media’s high expectations of men and women in terms of beauty. People demand that the media sets reasonable expectations for men and women to achieve. And though this sentiment is understandable, it is backwards. Media is a product of society, and until we experience a fundamental change in our valuation of others, the media will continue to perpetuate its tiresome standards. In a society permeated by conditional love and judgement, how do we expect anything better from the media than a demand for people to play a part in what is “the right way to be”?
Our standard of what is beautiful and acceptable should not be based on anything the media spits out at us. The media is a product of a desire to drive sales, to make people feel like their value is dictated by what they look, act, and even smell like. Then we validate the media’s expectations by calling them “the standard,” buying into the idea that since the media says it’s so, we need to reach these standards to be beautiful.
But these problems of objectification, ridiculous beauty standards, and prejudices based on appearance are the product of a deeper problem. There must be a fundamental change in the way our culture treats others, in the way we love others. Before unconditional love is the norm, people will feel the need to strive for others’ approval, and will compare themselves to the media to make sure others will like what they see. When you see the world around you through a judgmental lens, you will see yourself the same way: needing to live up to an unachievable standard.
The media isn’t going to change to make beauty easier to attain. The media is never going to stop telling you you aren’t good enough. The only standard that can keep the poison of worthlessness out of our society is a new standard that values unconditional love above everything else. Until society starts to accept and love people regardless of any differences, the media will be able to dictate what makes someone “worthy."
If you start to love others before yourself, and to love them regardless of their faults, you will start to see a change in the way you see yourself. You will be happier, and you will love yourself. I know this to be true from experience. It is much easier to love yourself if you aren’t busy criticizing everyone. So trade in a habit of judgment for a new habit of love for yourself and others, and see if it doesn’t start to change your perceptions. You won’t need to look to the media to see if you are doing things right, because you’ll be too busy infecting the world with happiness and love.
"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins."
1 Peter 4:8
