I stand in front of you and you see me. You see the happy smiling face I put on but miss the pain and hurt I'm truly feeling. My world is crashing in and yet you still don't see it. You hear me talk, laugh and joke and think oh she's fine. But I fight everyday just to stay alive. I push the pain down so no one will see. So no one will say, "poor girl" or "oh she's just seeking attention." And when I finally break and I tell you everything you tell me you're sorry and it'll get better soon. Or what's worse is when you try to act like you understand when I know deep down you truly don't. This is why everyday it's easier to wake up and put the mask on. To put the happy smiling face on for everyone to see while hiding the pain deep down. But little did you know that pain I push as far down as I can eats away at me a little more every single day. There's darkness in me I hide from the world and slowly I can feel it breaking me. I don't know how much longer I can let this pain tear me apart while wearing the mask I wear for you. You suggest medicine but did you ever ask how it makes me feel? It may take away the pain but it's only temporary. Not only that it zombifies me as a person and when the pain comes back, it makes it a thousand times worse. There is no hope left in this uphill battle I call my life. But of course you don't recognize that because you only see the mask. I've pushed everyone away and know that if I just disappear no one would be hurt, no one would miss me. I am no one's favorite person I don't mean anything to anyone. I am a shell of a human being walking this earth with no purpose I am nothing. But again, you don't see it that way. You see what I want you to see, you only see the mask. This mask I wear is slowly being ripped away the pain is starting to become unbearable and you can't even see it. By the time you do the pain will have won the constant battle in my head. Depression is real the mask is fake and it is taking everything in me to keep fighting. All I ask is you take the time to see through the mask to see the fight and understand that to you it may not seem like a lot. But to me this is everything, this is my life.