First, I'm sorry.

I don't think you even know yet what you are getting yourself into. I, not only have a big personality, but big baggage that comes along with it which i'm sure wont surface for awhile. I'm good at keeping things inside. Emotions not so much. By now I know you know that I'm a crier. Not that just occasional cry when somethings sweet, or when somethings actually sad... like an all the time cry, and even better yet sometimes I cry for no reason at all. I can't help it... well maybe I can. But most of the time its best for me to just cry it out because it keeps me sane.....

Oh, yeah I'm crazy.

Its not my fault that i'm crazy though, okay that's what all crazy people say. Well like you know there were many before you. Not too many, but enough. Enough to do some serious damage. But still its not ALL their fault. Like you know, When I love, I love hard. I put my whole heart and soul into everything I do but you know better than anyone that this is especially true when it comes to us. I have a huge heart. I love Love and especially showing it because I didn't get that much affection growing up. I never want you to ever question or worry about my feelings for you so I promise to overuse the word Love, shower you with kisses, hugs and snugs.... I'm sure you found this out pretty early on but it didn't scare you away because you are here with me now and reading this.

I didn't know how it felt to be loved until I met you.

Yeah my parents love me, especially my Dad... I know you've heard stories and though you didn't meet him you can tell that I was his girl. And yeah boyfriends have told me they loved me but you're love... its the real deal. Nothing like I've ever experienced before, that's why its just you. You are the last one. For some reason God brought you into my life and gave you the strength and patience to not only handle me but love me for me and all my flaws...

I have a lot of flaws.

I'm insecure. Constantly needed reassurance and affection... so bad that it drives you insane because you are doing all you can and I make you feel like its not enough. It's enough, I just get down sometimes. I lose my place in the world and forget how much you care. It's as if I'm Alice and just fall into the rabbit hole and am in another reality and don't know anyone there... then I wake up and everything's fine.

I'm Jealous. Never been jealous really before but its you. You make me so jealous. The type of jealousy that makes me wanna pull every girls hair out that even looks your way. The type that just consumes someone and turns them into another person... almost like the Hulk. Green with envy because I'm insecure and afraid you will leave me. Which brings me to

I'm Scared. I'm scared that something will happen and ill lose you. Scared ill mess it all up. Scared you'll lose interest. Scared you'll find someone better, prettier, smarter, nicer, or more caring. Scared one day you'll just say I cant do this anymore because I'm too much to handle. I've never been scared before really.... but I've never had something so precious before. I don't know what Id do if i lost you... hopefully Ill never have to know.

I'm Stubborn, hard headed and egocentric. I have a temper like my Daddy and pop off a little to much. I don't like to admit when I'm wrong, or when you're right..... which is a lot! Did you hear that? You are right a lot. Probably 99% of the time because you are cool, calm and collected. I'm awful at looking at things from your point of view and considering your feelings. Its as if Its my world when in reality it's your world and I'm just living in it... I'm lucky to have someone who loves me the way you do and I just need to slow down and think more about you than myself... I'm working on it honey.

I'm ignorant. This is probably the biggest battle with us. One because I've never been treated with so much respect. Never been loved so unconditionally, and just treated like a princess. I've never had something so good like this and am just ignorant on how it works but I'm working on it... slowly figuring out that this is normal and everything else I've experienced is abnormal and not to compare it to us.

I'm a basket case. Needless to say I'm not worthy of you love, affection, time and endless amount of effort that you put into caring for me and making this work. You are so patient, kind, genuine and have the biggest heart of all time. You are the Man my Dad would be proud to give me away too only because he knows, just like you know now how difficult I am.

I am so lucky to get to have a Man like you by my side and hope that things get easier for you. I know what I need to fix and I'll work on them everyday.

I love you,

Haley