Long distance relationships stink. There is no easy way to put it. No cute quote or comforting FaceTime call will ever be enough to fill the space that is between the two of you. But you know what? You do it anyways. Because no amount of space is ever too much to tear you apart. Each time you see each other it feels like you never left and that is exactly how it should be. I have found it also cuts out a lot of the little arguments and stupid disagreements that might come up when you see each other every day. But I have learned some valuable lessons during this time.
For starters, there is never enough time in the day. Between jobs, school, commuting, eating, and sleeping there never seems to be enough time for all of those conversations that you want to have. But we have fallen into somewhat of a routine finding the best times to talk like in the car on the way to work or while we are getting ready. If I can pass anything on to you that would be on the top of the list.
Quality is better than quantity.
So when you do make time to talk or FaceTime, clear your plate and move away from distractions. Yes, it is hard to find a time where you feel like you can literally do nothing but sit and talk but it is important for the other person to know that you are all theirs even for that moment.
Patience with a side of selflessness is key. There are going to be times, and probably a lot of them, when your time on the phone is short or you might not be able to talk at all. And remembering that the other person actually has a life is sometimes quite difficult. But to maintain a healthy and positive relationship you have to be selfless and not guilt them about things they might have going on, and I am preaching to myself on that one. There are times I find myself falling into those pouting or manipulating tendencies and I have to literally talk myself out of it. Easier said than done my dear friend.
Open communication can be a lifesaver. As a girl when you ask a guy what they are doing, who all is there, where they are going next, and what time he is going to be getting back to his house it automatically comes off as stalkerish. However, I see the same scenario so differently. To me, I just asked him what is going on in his life that day and who he is hanging out with and what time he will be getting home so I can try and call before he goes to sleep. There are always two sides of a situation. Guys need to be more open to communication at times and not look at it as controlling and girls need to learn to let loose and be more understanding.
Overall, I would not trade this relationship for anything in the world.
The time we have spent apart makes the moments that we are together so much more precious to me. It also has allowed me to grow individually as well as growing together as a couple. Long distance relationships are hard but so beautiful.
“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.”
- Bob Marley