1974: Irmelin Dicaprio gives birth to a baby boy, naming him Leonardo after feeling the infant’s first kick while gazing at a Leonardo da Vinci painting. This baby boy became the only child of both Irmelin and George Dicaprio.
It's easy to tell where Leo gets his looks from.
1975: Irmelin and George divorce, leaving Leonardo to live with just his mother in a couple of Los Angeles neighborhoods.
1979: Leonardo Dicaprio starts his acting career and appears on Romper’s Room, a children’s television show, although he soon got kicked out for being too “disruptive.” Can’t say I blame him, it’s the most boring kid’s show I’ve ever seen.
1988: He soon enters the world of commercials, appearing in a super rad commercial for Bubble Yum. It kind of makes me wish I had a cool boombox that explodes whenever I eat gum.
1990: The world of commercials becomes a bit too small for Leo, as he now enters the world of television, appearing in "The New Lassie," "Roseanne," and later getting recurring roles in the short-lived "Parenthood" and the much funnier and not-so-short-lived "Growing Pains."
1991: Leonardo drops out of high school after his junior year, eventually passing the GED. In the same year, he also makes his film debut in the direct-to-video sequel that absolutely no one on Earth asked for, "Critters 3."
1992: The "Critters 3" superstar finally breaks into theaters in "A Boy's Life," after getting handpicked by Robert De Niro himself.
1993: Leonardo Dicaprio plays the mentally handicapped brother of Johnny Depp in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape," and receives his first ever nomination for an Academy Award and Golden Globe. Who would have ever thought "Critters 3" would propel this young, handsome man to sitting in the same place with the likes of Anthony Hopkins, Tom Hanks, and Liam Neeson? Thanks, "Critters 3."
1995-96: The Oscar-nominated actor has now appeared in several different films, including "The Quick and the Dead," "Total Eclipse," and "Romeo + Juliet," although no one ever really talks about these films… or cares for them, really.
1997: "Titanic." Is there anything I should really say about this that you probably don’t know already? Still waiting for him to draw me like a French girl. He promised me he would in a dream of mine. (Probably would be key to know that people were outraged that Leo wasn’t nominated for an Oscar for the film)
1998-2001: Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Leonardo appears in four straight critically panned films, and is even nominated for two Razzies – winning one – for his efforts (in case you don’t know, a Razzie is the complete opposite of an Oscar).
2002: And just like that, how quick the mighty picks right back up. Leo stars back-to-back in critically acclaimed films "Catch Me If You Can" and "Gangs of New York."
2005: Eleven years later and Leonardo makes another appearance at the Academy Awards, nominated for Best Actor in the film "The Aviator." Guess who won though? I’ll give you a hint—his name isn’t Leonardo Dicaprio.
2006-2011: Leonardo Dicaprio essentially becomes a household name. With another trip to the Academy Awards in 2007 (and another trip back home without an Academy Award) for his role in "Blood Diamond," Leo only increases his fame. Movies like "The Departed," "Orphan," and "Shutter Island" showcase the range Dicaprio has to offer. I don’t even want to talk about how big "Inception" became. There’s not a single day that goes by where I don’t think about that spinning top…
2012: If you couldn’t tell Leonardo Dicaprio was a great actor after watching "Titanic," "The Aviator," "Critters 3," "Inception," "Growing Pains," and "What's Eating Gilbert Grape," then Quentin Tarantino’s "Django Unchained" should do the trick. What baffles my mind is the fact that Leonardo choosing to keep filming even after his hand was bleeding after hitting glass didn’t guarantee him a ticket to the Oscars. Absolutely baffling.
2013: You can almost hear Tumblr shatter when "The Great Gatsby" was released, starring Leo in the titular role. Guess what award Leonardo won for his role? Yup, that’s right – an Australian Academy of Cinema and Television Arts Award, how did you guess?
2014: Another movie, another trip to the Academy Awards (about goddamn time). This time, it was the 2013 sensation "The Wolf of Wall Street" that starred Leonardo Dicaprio as a crazy, cocaine-sniffing-from-the-butt millionaire who did whatever it took to keep being a millionaire, even if it meant losing the beautiful Margot Robbie in the process. However, it’s almost as if you could have heard the entire world moan altogether when it was announced Matthew McConaughey won instead.
2015: "The Revenant" is released, starring a pushed-to-the-limits Leonardo Dicaprio as Hugh Glass, a guide who soon gets mauled by a bear and must do all he can do to survive. His performance won universal acclaim, although I personally think the bear deserved the praise.
2016: Leonardo Dicaprio was nominated for a sixth Academy Award for Best Actor in "The Revenant." And you know what? After 23 long, excruciating years, he finally won it.
About damn time.
Thanks, "Critter 3."
