The Issue With Singleness
Start writing a post
Relationships

The Issue With Singleness

Your value is not and will never be found in the eyes of anyone else.

9
The Issue With Singleness
Unsplash

Singleness is a concept usually tossed around and taken lightly, and a season of singleness is sometimes looked at as a time to be social and to celebrate having none of the constraints that a relationship might cause. If you're anything like me, though, you were never too concerned about the "party" scene and love the idea of being whisked away on horseback like Hallmark so wonderfully portrays endings of love stories.

The truth, in my opinion, lies somewhere in- between. While I am conscious of the group of people who own their singleness and live it out well, I also know far too many young men and women who are so concerned about their relationship status that they throw out their standards. Truthfully, you don't have to be a serial dater or miss popular to get too much of the wrong kind of attention. It's hidden in our souls, the longing to share life with others... so what's the problem?

The issue with singleness is that most young people (and dare I say older people, too) don't allow themselves to rest and find joy in the time of life they are in, but instead they find themselves passing time by focusing on their inner need for attention and love. I'll be blunt. I'm tired of the world that lives in an instant gratification mentality. I'm tired of Facebook statuses about needing a significant other, and tweets with the hashtag #foreveralone. WHO CARES if you're alone? If the Lord is calling you to that season, why are you not joyfully pursuing it?

The issue with singleness is also that we have created a mindset that being single means not being loved, needed, or wanted. Don't believe that lie! Your value is not and will never befound in the eyes of anyone else. You have to learn to love yourself first. How will you ever expect someone to love you the way that you deserve to be loved if you don't know what that looks like?

Sometimes, people will fail you. That totally sucks, especially when everything else just so happens to also be going wrong at approximately the same time. This being said, you'll have to get yourself up sometimes, dust yourself off, and demonstrate love to yourself in order to get through tough times. You'll have to choose to feel God's grace and to let love in. If you're so caught up chasing frivolous relationships or affection in some other form, how will you make it work?

My suggestion is this; that you begin searching for love in better places than just a random person in the hallway or on the elevator and for better reasons than an anxiousness to change your last name. Love will come when you least expect it (trust me) and if it's your portion, it will produce such sweet, sweet fruit.

But, hear me, I ask. If you're looking for love or if you're ill- contented with your current situation, stop looking. You'll spend so many hours chasing seeds of adoration that you completely miss the beautiful garden God has for you during your season of singleness. There's a huge issue here- and it all starts with the idea that you are not enough by yourself.

You weren't an accident. You weren't mass produced. You aren't an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on the earth by the Master Craftsman.”
Max Lucado, The Christmas Candle

I promise, whether you are married, single, dating, or not looking, you have tremendous worth outside of your relationships. There could never be a more perfect "you". Can we not get off of the insecurity train and celebrate that? You don't need anyone else to tell you how amazing you are. You just are.

“When you do something noble and beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad. For the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet most of the audience still sleeps.”
-- John Lennon
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

88446
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

193250
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments