Singleness is a concept usually tossed around and taken lightly, and a season of singleness is sometimes looked at as a time to be social and to celebrate having none of the constraints that a relationship might cause. If you're anything like me, though, you were never too concerned about the "party" scene and love the idea of being whisked away on horseback like Hallmark so wonderfully portrays endings of love stories.
The truth, in my opinion, lies somewhere in- between. While I am conscious of the group of people who own their singleness and live it out well, I also know far too many young men and women who are so concerned about their relationship status that they throw out their standards. Truthfully, you don't have to be a serial dater or miss popular to get too much of the wrong kind of attention. It's hidden in our souls, the longing to share life with others... so what's the problem?
The issue with singleness is that most young people (and dare I say older people, too) don't allow themselves to rest and find joy in the time of life they are in, but instead they find themselves passing time by focusing on their inner need for attention and love. I'll be blunt. I'm tired of the world that lives in an instant gratification mentality. I'm tired of Facebook statuses about needing a significant other, and tweets with the hashtag #foreveralone. WHO CARES if you're alone? If the Lord is calling you to that season, why are you not joyfully pursuing it?
The issue with singleness is also that we have created a mindset that being single means not being loved, needed, or wanted. Don't believe that lie! Your value is not and will never be found in the eyes of anyone else. You have to learn to love yourself first. How will you ever expect someone to love you the way that you deserve to be loved if you don't know what that looks like?
Sometimes, people will fail you. That totally sucks, especially when everything else just so happens to also be going wrong at approximately the same time. This being said, you'll have to get yourself up sometimes, dust yourself off, and demonstrate love to yourself in order to get through tough times. You'll have to choose to feel God's grace and to let love in. If you're so caught up chasing frivolous relationships or affection in some other form, how will you make it work?
My suggestion is this; that you begin searching for love in better places than just a random person in the hallway or on the elevator and for better reasons than an anxiousness to change your last name. Love will come when you least expect it (trust me) and if it's your portion, it will produce such sweet, sweet fruit.
But, hear me, I ask. If you're looking for love or if you're ill- contented with your current situation, stop looking. You'll spend so many hours chasing seeds of adoration that you completely miss the beautiful garden God has for you during your season of singleness. There's a huge issue here- and it all starts with the idea that you are not enough by yourself.
“You weren't an accident. You weren't mass produced. You aren't an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on the earth by the Master Craftsman.”
― Max Lucado, The Christmas Candle
I promise, whether you are married, single, dating, or not looking, you have tremendous worth outside of your relationships. There could never be a more perfect "you". Can we not get off of the insecurity train and celebrate that? You don't need anyone else to tell you how amazing you are. You just are.
“When you do something noble and beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad. For the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet most of the audience still sleeps.”
-- John Lennon
