If you have anxiety of any kind, you understand what an inner anxiety monologue is. However, if you do not personally suffer from anxiety, you may be confused as to what that is. An inner anxiety monologue is the thought process that "plays" over and over in one's mind. Different from the "voices" associated with Schizophrenia, an inner monologue is more like a constant "what if" related to everyday scenarios. Anxiety is essentially the annoyingly cautious friend lurking around every corner, guaranteed to put a damper on all things fun and otherwise "normal". Unfortunately, however, no amount of "it will be fine"'s and or "stop overthinking it"'s will make much of an impact in attempting to mute this monologue. So with that in mind and without further ado, the inner monologue of life, as performed by Anxiety.
"Okay. I've got this; everything is going to be fine. Here we go, calm, cool, and collected. Oh, well never mind; my heart is racing now, so that's fun. Alright brain I'm going to need you to relax for just a little bit, you had me up all night overthinking about "everything" so I'm a bit exhausted. Great, no that's fine; I wanted to think about all of those things again right now. Thanks for that."
"I wonder if other people overthink and analyze as much as I do. Oo, like that girl I saw earlier in Target. She looked so relax and happy, almost as if she didn't have a care in the world. That reminds me, I need to go back to Target later. I went there for one thing, couldn't find it in plain sight, and I was not about to ask a salesperson for help. Wouldn't want to bother anyone outside of my direct comfort zone by asking for anything. Plus, traffic was about to hit, and who has time to sit through a minor anxiety attack in the middle of rush hour? Or worse, what if my favorite song were to come on and I start singing and dancing, and the person in the car next to me sees me?! Yeah no, change of plans. I'll just text one of my friends and see if any of them would go with me. Everyone likes a group trip to Target right? Which would work out well because one person singing and dancing alone in their car is sad and awkward. But, a private concert in traffic is endearing and (good) funny when you're with a friend."
"Then again, what if I text someone and they're busy or just don't want to hang out with me, but spare my feelings by not responding? Or worse than that, what if they do respond but with some (reasonable) question along the lines of, "Why can't you just go alone?". Yeah maybe I shouldn't text anyone, they all probably have better things to do besides aid me in a simple excursion to Target. My God, I can't even "plan" a trip to a convenience store without my brain venturing to extremes. I guess I'll just wait to go or do anything until someone else asks me to go with them."
"This whole thing is so pathetic. Normal minded human beings definitely do not have to go through this. What if this never goes away, and I end up being this sad old person who has never done anything with or during their life? This sucks. This whole thing, this stupid disorder, this crippling mind game. I'm over all of it."
