Early this semester, I had a sweet friend ask me if she could come over for ice cream. Of course I said, "Heck, yes!" and immediately got out the Blue Bell and sprinkles. When she came over I quickly realized what she wanted to talk about and without going into too much detail, I found out she was incredibly heartbroken. Though she and I were not the closest of friends at the time, she felt comfortable enough to open up to me and share her feelings about what she was going through. I could tell she really didn’t need much advice, but just wanted to talk about it; she craved a listening ear.
At the end of the discussion with her about this heartbreak I thanked her for feeling comfortable enough with me to share her story. In response she told me something that has stuck with me since.
She told me, “I think it is important to be generous with our stories -- with what we are going through and the emotions we are feeling. We have so much to learn from each other so why would I want to keep it to myself?”
What she said is absolutely correct, and to this day she is the person who reminded me of the importance of vulnerability. When we are open with what we are going through we foster community and we build relationships. That is not to say we should go tell everyone our sappy and tragic heart aches and breaks, but when there is a struggle you are facing or a valley you cant seem to get through, opening up to a close friend is one of the best things you can possibly do. Opening up to this friend isn’t just healing for you, it is a learning moment for the friend. I have come to believe that one of the greatest gifts we can give each other here on earth is vulnerability.
Vulnerability allows us to connect with others. When we open up to one another we create a bond that is deeper than petty conversation. We prove to each other that we are all a mess and all trying to figure life out still. There is power in vulnerability and we should not be ashamed of it.
We were not made to face this word alone. We are created for community. We crave companionship and we take comfort in company. So why are we so ashamed of seeking the help of others? Why don’t we more often open up to friend about hurts and pains? Have we allowed the presence of emotions to scare us?
Emotions should not be something we are ashamed of, but it seems this modern culture has taught us otherwise. Rather than hearing, it’s ok to be sad, we hear suck it up. However, vulnerability demands us to think radically different. We must remind ourselves that we are creatures of emotion; we are entitled to what we are feeling.
Though it is sometimes a hard thing to do, being vulnerable is what connects us with others. When we allow ourselves to share our feelings we are fostering deeply rooted relationships. And most importantly, when we open up to each other we allow ourselves to learn from others -- to hear their advice, to seek their wisdom and to learn form their past mistakes.
