As we grow and enter new stages in our lives, independence is a word that we are all going to hear and experience more frequently. But I believe that even as we are asked to grow more independent, it's important to do things alone as well. Now, when I say that I want you to do more things alone, I want to clarify that I am not equating being alone to being lonely. In this context, you need to understand that by saying alone, I mean that I want to encourage you to make a conscious and deliberate effort to do something by yourself in order to challenge your level of independence. Notice how I purposefully mentioned that these acts need to challenge you… that's important. This defines the difference between not having anything to do for a night so you order food and watch Netflix versus turning down plans, cooking a new meal-for-one you've never tried, and watching a documentary on Netflix that's going to challenge your beliefs. Depending on where you lie on the spectrum between extroversion and introversion (and many other factors), these challenges are going to look different for everyone, but the purpose should remain the same - growth.

Personally, I've had many experiences that have made me come to the realization of the importance of challenging myself continuously to be a better person. I grew up in a household of six family members and being the oldest of four girls, there was never a dull, quiet moment in our home. On top of that, anyone who knows me knows that I overcommit myself with responsibilities time after time and that I'm also extremely extroverted and will almost always prefer to be in the presence of others. Although these qualities help to define who I am as a person and are things I would never change, they did not make it easy for me to experience independence and learn how to do things alone.

I can distinctly remember pulling myself out of a dark place in my life with one thought, “If I want to be proud of who I am, no one else can decide that for me. I have to be better and only I can push myself toward that.” This thought leads me to push myself further than I could have imagined in the last year and a half. It started with deciding to go on a road trip to Chicago by myself for a week, learning how to navigate, get lost, and trust myself daily and evolved into everyday activities of choosing to do things like errands, random drives, and going to dinner by myself. I became addicted to the realization that I could trust and depend on myself. I learned how to be self-aware, and through that how to utilize self-care tactics to allow myself to be in a state where I can continue to grow. That single thought and the experiences that followed have allowed me to be where I am now - pursuing a career I'm passionate about over 1,200 miles away from anyone I knew, committing to two months without a backup plan, and loving every minute of it.

These experiences have taught me more than how to care and challenge myself, though. They have taught me that I can trust myself and be confident in what I have to offer the world. I've learned that everyone is important in their own way, even if we can't see it at the time. I know now that my perspective is not the only one that matters, and probably isn't what I should base my thoughts and actions off of anyways. It has taught me to be kind to strangers and not to judge. I've discovered that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but an act of confidence and courage at times. But most importantly of all, I've learned. In the broadest sense of the word, I have learned. Discovering myself by doing things alone has taught me about other people, other cultures, other opinions, and other perspectives, which has been the most valuable thing I could have ever expected.

You have to understand that we live in a world that is full of so many distractions. These distractions come in many forms, such as friends, family, tv, phones, significant others, school, and anything that can pull your attention away from learning and growing as an individual. Doing things alone allows you to take a step back from these distractions every once in awhile and learn how to use the opportunities and relationships you're a part of for personal growth. By doing things alone, you not only discover your life story, you learn how'll change it for the better. So, discover your story, discover yourself, discover the world, and change everything.