Swimmers. Literally the weirdest athletes of all time. It's no surprise we are ridiculed by athletes of other sports. If you are a swimmer, you will understand all of the following implications of swimming.
1. Chlorine everywhere
I'm talking pool water in ears, itchy skin and green hair. Whatever the reason, this chemical is just irresistible to us swimmers. There's been many times where people have questioned your hair color: "Oh hey! Did you have blonde hair? Because now it's green!"
You understand that no amount of moisturizer will ever be able to handle what appears to be the chlorine damaged flakes of your skin.
There always seems to be chlorine around you, chlorine on you and chlorine inside of you -- ya' know -- the pool water that you swallowed during that hard practice.
2. Conditioner.
Conditioner. The fastest one to leave the locker room, and the fastest one to enter the depths of your heart. A product that can sort out all of the tangles and unpleasant split ends. One day without it will leave your hair looking something like this:
3. Classy tan lines.
Because who doesn't love showing up to a big event with beautiful tan lines to stun the crowd? We all know it's a real hit.
4. Caps.
Some swimmers trade them. Others use them as water balloons. And what swimmer doesn't like to distract the competition a little bit?
Also, might I add that a cap only fits perfectly with a proper designated cap flipper to help.
5. Crying.
Crying in your goggles during distance sets. Crying underwater on "no-breath" sets. Crying when your coach enters you in certain meet events. Crying when you finally accomplish the hardest earned best time of your season. Amiright?
6. Comparison.
... Because every non-swimmer you meet will somehow find a way to compare you to Michael Phelps and will tell you at least once to, "Just keep swimming" like Dory. (Face palm.)
7. Crocs.
If it wasn't for competitive swimming, this statement shoe and it's jibbitz would have never made it big. Although on the decline in popular culture today, you owned at least one pair in the past. Admit it.
8. Competition.
There's always that one team that you absolutely cannot stand, and you will do everything in your power to beat them. Competition in swimming is incredibly fierce. Even the slightest touch of a fingernail can determine the fate of a meet.
9. Constant hunger.
What's the first thing every swimmer does after practice? Scavenge for food.
10. Cuties.
Umm -- 'cause what girl doesn't drool over Nathan Adrian's smile, or Ryan Lochte's mighty fine physique?
11. Coach.
He might not be the cutie that we were hoping for, but he sure keeps us motivated most of the times. Expectation:
12. Circle bubbles and underwater tea parties.
"Meet you at the bottom of the pool after this set!"
13. Collaboration.
We've all heard the phrase "There is no 'I' in 'team,'" but there's also no victory without a close-knit team. We swimmers really stick close like a family! Of course, there are times when we get on each other's nerves.
But there are also times you will never want to mess with us as a unit.
14. Cool downs.
We've looked at the clock nearly a hundred times. We've swam miles. We've struggled and gasped for air nearly every moment. We've suffered. Every swimmer longs for those sweet resounding words at the end of every tough practice. Cool Down! Cool down isn't just a fast track to lactic acid release. It means team bonding time in the locker room and yummy food soon to come. Things just couldn't get any better!
My friend Kelly and I were super pumped when our long course practice came to a close a few days ago so we took a celebratory selfie in the locker room. Can't you just sense the excitement?
15. Contentment.
Whether you're a beginner, novice, college-aged swimmer or "swammer," you understand all the Cs of swimming, and are more than happy to partake in them each and every season of life. There are so many valuable lessons to be learned from the sport of swimming, and I think we can all agree we've picked a pretty great sport!
