The honeymoon phase of a relationship always seems like the best. The newness is so, well for lack of a better term, new. It's when you're overly obsessed with your partner and nothing about them annoys you. It's when they seem perfect in every way. It's when there aren't little fights. There's just blissful togetherness.
Yeah, sure, the honeymoon phase is fun. But it's not truly reality. And after some thought, I've decided on a phase I like a lot better.
I call this the comfort phase.
You've been with your partner for months now. You know all their quirks. All the things about them that drive you insane. You've experienced intimacy. You've experienced fights. You've experienced what a real relationship is like.
Whether anyone actually admits it, relationships kind of suck. I tell this to all of my single friends. Of course, like anything, relationships have their positive and negative sides. But the actual effort it takes to be in a healthy, stable, fulfilling relationship is overwhelming.
-It's crying over the stress of not seeing your partner every day.
-It's long car rides so you can spend the night with them.
-It's sacrifices to your time, energy, and friendships.
-It's being confrontational when something just isn't right or something bothers you.
-It's being vulnerable all the damn time.
-It's giving someone your heart and hoping like hell they don't break it.
-It's being the over-emotional one who is so overly in love that they come off as crazy.
-It's thinking of your partner first, and sometimes putting your needs second.
-It's writing long ass messages when you know you've screwed up.
-It's texting them so you can cuddle and talk because you know they can't stay mad at you if you're in their arms.
-It's biting your tongue when you just want to punch them because they irritate the hell out of you sometimes.
-It's holding back your tears because they can't always be there for you.
-It's understanding their boundaries and accepting them for who they are.
-It's laying in bed at night wanting them to be right next to you but realizing that's not reality right now.
-It's praying for the future but also knowing shit happens and they may not always be yours.
-It's trying to get them to let you into their world when they have high walls up. And then getting frustrated when they won't let you in or answer your damn questions.
-It's accepting that no matter how hard you try you two will never be perfect. But you know in your heart, you two are worth it. It's wanting to run away out of fear, but knowing it doesn't get any better than this.
-It's stressing out over not receiving texts back when they just don't feel like being on their phone or are too busy to respond.
But you know... it's also a lot of positive things...
-Like knowing that you have someone on your side at all times.
-Having someone to hold you when you cry or just need to be held.
-Having someone to talk to, who at least tries to understand you.
-It's having someone who can look at you and reassure you that you don't have any flaws. Though you both know you do.
-It's having someone who will reassure you that you're "fucking gorgeous" when you feel like the ugliest person alive.
-It's having someone who helps you grow, whether it be in maturity or in patience.
-It's having someone to hold your hand through the ups and downs.
-It's having someone who'll listen to the things that bother you and let you rant.
-It's stepping back and realizing your life wouldn't be the same without them.
-It's chilling in comfy clothes with messy hair and not caring one bit.
-It's singing your favorite songs while looking into their eyes (or rocking out in bed while you cuddle).
-It's loving the person you're looking at, no matter how they look.
-It's falling for someone's personality and quirks, not just their looks.
-It's cherishing the limited time you have with them because time truly is precious.
-It's fighting for them when they don't have the strength to fight for themselves.
-It's living your life with them in mind, because your life wouldn't feel complete without them.
-It's meeting their family and praying to god they accept you into it.
-It's finding someone who loves you as-is. They know everything about you, and they deal with your shit on the daily, but they still choose to stay.
It's so much more than the honeymoon phase. It's so much more meaningful because you know it's real when the comfort phase sets in.