Dear Class of 2016,
It's time we had a little chat. Half of your senior year is over. I bet that makes you feel really excited. The majority of you have already applied for college, and some of you have started to receive your acceptance letters, or they'll be coming within the next couple of months. As you receive your letters and put in the deposit in the place that seems to be your new 'home away from home,' there are things I ask, no - beg of you to consider before you end up somewhere and feel as though you've wasted thousands of dollars.
It's not a fairytale.
It's not what TV shows or movies made you think it was. It's actually quite awkward. Please, please, please do NOT go in there thinking you're immediately going to have all these friends and be invited to all of these events and become instantly popular. I do not want you to get your hopes up and have them crushed like mine. Please, don't do that to yourself. You're going to be awkward, you're going to feel lonely and you're going to struggle to find someone to eat a simple meal with you for a while. It happens to everyone - expect it so that you can accept it.
Not everyone is as happy as their Instagram makes them seem.
My biggest issue my first week at school was the fact that while I was miserable and crying, everyone else's Instagram pictures were all of them having a blast. But here's the kicker - my Instagram made it look like I was having a blast, too. I was posting selfies in my dorm room of a giant smiling face, pictures with girls from my dorm getting ice cream, and pictures of my view at an outdoor movie. But as soon as I finished uploading my pictures, I just returned to crying on my dorm room floor to my mother on the phone. Even after I went home, I still viewed the Instagram selfies of people at my now former school. I was jealous - jealous it looked like they were having a blast while I was miserable, so miserable I had to go home. Stalking Instagram became an addiction until a couple weeks after it finally hit me - these people could be just as depressed as I was. Moral of the story, never judge someone's happiness just based on what they decide to show the world on their social media.
Don't be afraid to relate with others whom you never thought you would.
A girl I graduated with went to the same school I did. We never really talked in high school, but all the sudden in college she became my lifeline. Not because we decided to be best friends, but because she became the only person in the whole school who I thought understood me. We had the same feelings, the same struggles, and the same sense of humor about everything. Without helping each other, I truly don't know what would have happened had I kept all of my feelings inside and never vented.
Trust your instincts.
First, really know if it's your instincts or if you're just in a bad mood. For example, the school I went to at the beginning of this semester just felt wrong. As soon as I got there, it felt like everything and everyone was telling me to get out. No one was really trying to be my friend, my invitations to other peers to hang out or get to know me were ignored, I felt like a third wheel no matter where I went, counselors taught me how to withdraw instead of teaching me how to deal with my anxiety, and every time I prayed about it, it was like a heard a little voice whispering for me to go home. The only time I felt at "home" was when I was with the fellow Odyssey staff (cheesy alert), but sadly, I never saw them outside of our meetings. Thankfully, I left with about 97% of my money back, but some people aren't that lucky.
It's okay to hate the school you chose.
We all make mistakes, and sometimes your mistake can be the school you chose to go to. What you decide to do about it is up to you. Do you transfer? Do you quit all together? Or do you make the best out of a horrible situation? That is all up to you.
Have a Plan B
Plan A doesn't always work out. Please, please, please, plan at least a Plan B. But feel free to have a plan for every letter of the alphabet. Things don't always turn out the way we want them to, we have to be prepared. I'm currently on like Plan H, so always be prepared.
If you want to transfer - learn the facts
Learn the facts of your new school, learn how much you'll have to pay your former school to leave, learn what credits you took will and won't transfer to your new school, learn the environment of your new school vs. your old school, learn what some people say about the new school you are choosing to attend, learn if leaving is really what you want to do. Please gather as much information as you can before you make any drastic decisions.
No one is going to think you're a loser for leaving
When you get home, no one is going to look at you and go "what a loser, they couldn't stick it out." And if they are, you don't need someone like that in your life anyway. When I came home, I was greeted with open arms and words of encouragement, as will you be if you decide that college is not for you.
Dropping out or transferring does not make you a failure.
You decide your own destiny. If your college experience becomes toxic, it is your job to either fix the situation or get the hell out of there. I chose the latter option.You are not alone
You are not alone.
While you may feel like it, trust me... you aren't. At my former university, it felt as if no one understood me. My brother went there and was very happy with his experience. A girl from my high school was a sophomore there now, was very involved and loved college life. My roommate had her boyfriend and one of her best friends go to the same college with her, so she didn't understand how I felt with my best friend a year younger and still in high school and my boyfriend still back in my hometown. But the truth is, I'm sure my brother had times of loneliness, I'm sure the girl from my high school was alone and scared before she involved in clubs, and I now know my roommate missed her family and felt like a part was missing, too. Everyone struggles being away from all things that are familiar. If you're feeling alone and like there is nothing else to do, tell someone how you are feeling. Please let someone in.
College isn't wonderland, unless you make it that. You can take your college experience and make it anything you want, just be prepared for the struggles that are coming along the way. Transferring doesn't make you weak and staying and toughing it out doesn't make you stubborn. You decide what makes you happy and you decide what is best for you. So class of 2016, while I don't want this letter to scare you and make you run away from college, I hope you are aware of what is coming. But, I also hope you have fun. I hope you have so much fun, you fall asleep with aching cheeks from laughing so much. I hope your Instagram selfies show true smiles and laughter and that college was everything you dreamt it would be. Good luck with your final semester as a high school student, Class of 2016, and may God bless you all.
