You get so excited to come back. The anticipation on both sides is unbearable. The first hug, the first hello, seeing your mom and dad and giving your best friend a hug for the first time in 7 months. And yes, for that first week you're thrilled to be back, telling your stories, showing your pictures, doing things that you thought you missed while you were gone. Then, about 2 weeks go by and you're sitting at home by yourself feeling like you never left. Because to them you never did. You left, you changed, your perspective altered, your mind opened. As they stayed, saw the same people, the same things, talked pettishly about the same people (which you now realize wasted to much of your time in high school). After the glorified 14 day period, you begin to crave more of what you had, the friends you made, the times you could talk about experiences, Ideas, thoughts and less about what people did or said.
Then you hit your month home mark, you feel antsy, unsatisfied, worn down by the daily routine that you so happily got rid of in those 7 glorious months. The bore of being stuck home puts you in a constant state of nostalgia. You covet everyone with their friends from college, as you look through your pictures of the countless different souls you met from every corner of the earth. And as you’ll try to explain all these new people you’ve met and their ideas and thoughts that have inspired you with to your friends from home, it just won't work. Not because there's no potential to, but because explaining an experience and a feeling to someone who has never felt that unequivocal consciousness and have seen it with their own eyes just doesn't give a story or picture the same justice. So here you are. A month and half home. That same longing you had before is the other way around. I’m ready to say goodbye, I’m ready for my next chapter, I’m ready to make new stories instead of share the old ones.
This isn't an insult or some sort of personal superiority post to my friends or family. It’s me simply putting a finger on something that not most people feel, when you find something that you love and humbles your heart and soul in every way possible. As I’ve finally found that. And I know exactly where that is, why wouldn't I be there?
