To The Guy I Never Knew I Needed

To The Guy I Never Knew I Needed

I have been struggling with things all my life but the hardest things have come during my relationship with my boyfriend. I was never one to know or admit that I needed someone but he came and stayed through everything and I could not be more thankful.


Like most people, I am not the type of person to EVER admit that I need help. I work through things on my own, I keep everything to myself and I move on with my life. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember honestly and I never let anybody know it. I would never try to lean on anybody for help until I met my boyfriend.

I am not saying I wouldn't complain to my friends, because I sure as hell did and I still do. But, complaining to your friends is not always a cry for help or completely disclosing exactly how you feel and why you feel, it's usually just talking. But my boyfriend? That is a different story.

He came into my life when I did not know I needed him. He came into my life when I was struggling. He came into my life, picked me up, put me on his back, and carried me. He came into my life and completely changed how I looked at the world. He did not only change the way I think about others but he changed the way that I think about myself.

He is my shoulder to cry on. The one person who listens to everything I say, no matter how many times I say it. He is the one who is pushing me to do what is best for me in one of the hardest times of my life. He is the one who made me realize that I deserve better from my friends and from my family.

He is the person who tells me what I need to hear.

I have experienced love in my life before but this was a different type of love. My parents were not together when I was born or throughout my life so I never really had any idea of what a real relationship looked like. I never knew what it was like to see two people in love except in movies and we all know that isn't real.

He taught me love.

That is the cheesiest thing I have ever said but it is true. Loving your family and friends is so different than the love you feel for a significant other.

As we get older, things seem to get harder. We both have our own busy schedules and not much free time to talk like we used to. We argue about stupid little things that don't matter and probably never will. We get angry. We cry...well I do most of the crying. But all of the emotions and feelings that we throw at each other is nothing short of love.

We fight because we want everything to work out. I cry because I want him to understand where I am coming from. I think people tend to break up or get upset when their relationship isn't perfect, but nothing is perfect.

I am not perfect. He is not perfect. We are not perfect. But he came at the perfectly right time and made me realize that I don't have to go through life on my own. I am allowed to lean on someone for help. He came when I never thought I needed him.

I am here to say that no matter how badly you want to be independent and deal with things on your own, it is okay to let someone in. It is okay to need someone, even when you really don't think you do.

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle – Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.

Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying.

What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense.

I've heard it all:

"He was cute, why didn't you like him?"

"You didn't even give him a chance!"

"You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous.

However, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do.

I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well.

Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault.

If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention a girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs"

Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him.

If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking Snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it.

He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush.

Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling.

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