To The Girl Who Has Always Been Single,
First of all, I’d like to start out by saying that it hasn’t been forever. You’re watching people around you have relationships that come and go, wondering how they could be so frequent, and it’s easy to feel like it’s been so much longer than it actually has been since you’ve had one. Everything that comes in and out only teaches lessons and while they’re useful, they don't matter in the end. The end proves the victory of quality over quantity, and you’ll know that it only takes one.
It’s a nice thing to remember for the long run, but it doesn't have much of an effect on how you feel in the moment. Every time you pass someone holding hands, see a cute picture of people you know with their significant other on social media or listen to guilty-pleasure love songs, you want it. It’s okay to want it; it’s human desire. However, wanting it and needing it are two completely different things that are easy to get confused.
You need to feel wanted and needed, it is something that has been psychologically proven from birth. However, it has become so easy to think there’s something wrong with you because a certain person doesn't desire you romantically; it’s so easy to think that it’s the end-all/be-all. I have something really, really important to reiterate.
You are desired by your friends, family and everyone you choose to surround yourself with. All the years you’ve been single, you’ve been fabulously focused on these relationships in your life, and you’ve invested yourself to being the best person that you can be for them. While it’s not a romantic love, it’s a love that’s just as meaningful.
Furthermore, you’ve been desired romantically over the past years as well. Just as you so much as glance at someone and see potential out of thin air, multiple people have done that for you. You’ve shut things down because you saw lack of potential, and that is good. Don’t ever let someone tell you that your standards are too high; keep them right where they’re at. They’re there for a reason, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with knowing what you’re looking for. It might feel like they’re too specific that no one will ever meet them and you’ll be endlessly searching for someone who doesn't exist, but I promise he does. For the reason that you hold yourself to a higher standard is the same reason that he will; you’ll challenge him to be the best person he can possibly be, and he’ll do the same for you. That is why you haven’t been able to jump from relationship to relationship. Your standards will lead you to a relationship that's specific to you.
In your waiting period, know that the thing you desire is worth wanting, but also know that your life will not suddenly be perfect when you’re in a relationship. Relationships themselves aren't perfect. They aren't always the hand-holding, Instagram pictures, appreciation posts or love songs. They’re sometimes made up of arguing, frustration and complication. Sometimes it’s worth it, and sometimes it’s really not.
Don’t you dare settle because it’s simply not worth it in the end. Keep yourself always focused on the long run because the rest of your life will mean nothing compared to a few years of searching. Stay in it for the investment of who you’ll lead each other to be, and don't accept anyone less than the exact person you’ve been waiting on. You'll be glad you did.
In the end, it only takes one.
