Dear Childhood "Friends,"
I was the friend who was never really a friend. I was the friend who would always pay for you but you never paid for me. I was the friend who would call you but would never be called. I was the friend who made the plans so that plans were not made without me. I am the friend who was never in the group chat. I am the friend who was criticized but never criticized. I was the friend who was laughed at rather than laughed with. I was the friend who would protect you but had no protection. I was the friend who would defend you but would never be defended, I was the friend who would support you but would not be supported. I was the friend who made jokes and received no laughs. I was the friend who never got to sit shotgun. I was the friend who was lucky to even get a ride. I was the friend whose best friend always had a different best friend. I was the friend who would always wait for you but you never waited for me. I was the friend who could never do anything right. I was the friend who walked behind because the sidewalk was too small for all of us. I was the friend who had to be asked by my family where you all were and not have an answer. I was the friend who had to make up excuses to my parents as to why I wasn't going out because I was afraid to admit that I was "that" friend. I was the friend who had to hide tears from my parents because I didn't want them to thinking poorly of you. I was the friend who cried myself to sleep but had no one to talk to. I was the friend who had to put on countless fake smiles to hide my feelings. I was the friend who was constantly looking in from the outside.
I was the friend who was a loser, an outcast, a nobody, a cry-baby, a momma's boy, a misfit, a nerd, a geek.
I was the friend who was non-athletic, ugly, untalented, stupid, idiotic, strange, boring, undesirable.
I was the friend who was used.
You made me out to be worthless, you never said it, but your action screamed those words over and over again...to tell you the truth I began to believe it.
Looking back, I realize that I am glad you did what you all did to me back then. You made me the person I am today. I overcame the cruel treatment that you all saw as a game. You all taught me a lesson that I can never repay you for, self-worth. I now know that I deserve better than you all. I know now that I am and was more than what you made me out to be.
I am the friend who wasn't really a friend. I am the friend who has the greatest friends in the world. I am the friend who can genuinely smile every day. I am the friend who has found his place. I am the friend who will never settle again. I am the friend who knows his worth. I am the friend who gets to walk next to my friends even when the sidewalk is small. I am the friend who protects and is protected, who supports and is supported, who defends and is defended.
I am the friend you all wish you had now.
Yours Truly,
The friend who was never really a friend
