Everyone wants everlasting friendships that are chock-full of positivity and mutual respect, but that’s not always what happens. You can be best friends with someone for years and not realize what negative effect they have on your life.
1.) Denial.
Being apart of a friendship that has lasted at least a couple years or longer can create a sort of blindness when it comes to their actions towards you. You deny that your friend’s actions of disregard for your feelings is okay when it isn’t. You deny it because you used to see the best in them and maybe you even got used to their negative behavior towards you, but you can’t hide behind denial much longer. You let the best memories and times guide you in your assertion of your denial. You deserve better.
2.) Bottling Up Emotions.
Eventually, even if you are at the end of being in the denial stage, you will notice all your emotions start to bottle up. You don’t want to say anything in fear of them getting mad at you or because you hate confrontation. They will treat you badly, try to replace you, dismiss you, disregard your feelings, but you won’t want to say anything because they weren’t like this before. You won’t know why you feel so bad all the time, but deep down the reason is because you have so much pent up emotion. You bottle up all those sad and angry emotions, pushing them down…for now3.) The Epiphany.
There’s going to be the moment where you finally open your eyes to the fact that your friend who you thought was your friend is toxic in your life. If they continuously choose other people over you, put you last on their priority list, leave you in the dust with plans, among other things, there is going to be a moment where you have had enough. There comes a point where you realize that you deserve better and have to distance yourself from that person.
4.) Finally Letting Go & Dealing With The Aftermath.
My roommate and I know very well how relieving it is to let go of toxic people in our lives as we we had a bad living situation with people who had tendencies to dismiss others’ feelings. Sometimes the letting go is smooth, you gradually let yourself drift apart from that person without any big blow up. Other times, unfortunately, that’s not the case. Sometimes that unresolved anger and bad feelings from both sides comes out in a bad way. Often it’s through text where you can write a novel in response to something because you were silent before. They’ll be defensive and so will you, leaving a bad taste in your mouth. That may be it or there might be a small apology, but in the end the letting go needs to happen. In the aftermath, whether it was a gradual or sudden conclusion, you will feel so much better knowing you have better things and people in your life.
5.) Moving On.
Moving on is hard, but do-able. It’s living your life free of the toxicity and only enveloping yourself in healthy friendships. There is nothing better than having that weight taken off of your shoulders knowing you’re surrounding yourself with positivity and no longer have that negative energy overwhelming you. There are bigger and better things ahead for you now. You learn from this experience and look for the signs you missed before. You deserve better for yourself and you deserve to put yourself as a priority. No longer will you worry about this person’s opinion of you because it doesn’t matter. You matter and deserve consistency in your life. You deserve happiness and letting go of toxic friends is doing yourself a service. Be happy.
