This time of year is always my favorite - the weather is getting cooler (or if you’re in Texas, it’s getting more bearable at least), school is about to let out, and the holidays are right around the corner. The holidays are the best time of year - especially Thanksgiving. I know the hype of this time of year is typically centered around Christmas, but personally I always look forward to Thanksgiving the most.
Thanksgiving is a time when, no matter how busy life gets or what is going on, my family comes together. On this day of giving thanks, I am hyper aware of the small things that make my life wonderful that not a lot of people in the world can say - I am able to stuff my face to my heart’s content because I never have to question if I’ll have food on my table; I am able to take a nap after said face stuffing because I have a roof over my head, a bed to lay down in, and a heater that keeps me warm; I am able to watch Cowboys football because I have a TV in my house; but most importantly, I am able to spend time with my family because we’re all in good health and have access to transportation so we can be together. Simply put, the family time I get to have on Thanksgiving is why it is my favorite holiday every year.
However, this year my feelings around the holidays have shifted. I no longer only feel a childlike effervescence when I think about Thanksgiving - I do still feel this slightly, but I also feel a nagging sense of sadness that wasn’t there before. This will be my first holiday without my grandpa. Whenever I think about that, I go into a sad trance that almost parallels the food coma I undoubtedly will go into on Thanksgiving. What will the holiday be like without his facetious wit and him handing my cousin and I the wishbone so we can compete to see who will pull off the bigger piece? This holiday season will be hard for my family and I without my Pa, but while I feel a slight tinge of dread for Thanksgiving this year knowing his recliner will be empty, I also feel an overwhelming feeling of gratitude.
The reason I have always loved Thanksgiving so much is the warmth that fills the air and the hearts of the people around you - the warmth that makes you thankful for the small things. I am not thankful for Pa not being with us, but because he is gone I am even more thankful for the memories we still have of him and the time we got to spend with him. I am even more thankful for the lessons he instilled in me that continue to propel me through the remaining time I have in this life without him. I am even more thankful for the people I do still have with me. This year, Thanksgiving without Pa will be hard - plain and simple. However, I can choose to have the mindset of being thankful for all that I still have and that is what he would want me to do.
